IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

some countries have introduced laws to limit working hours for employees. why are these laws introduced? do you think they are a positive or negative development?

Most of the countries have laws that employees can
work
Use synonyms
 for only some amount of
time
Use synonyms
. There are debates about whether
this
Linking Words
 is a benefit or a drawback for workers. I think it is a protection for employees to balance their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
, so it is beneficial.
This
Linking Words
 rule was set up because of the
Use synonyms
work and life
Replace the word
work-life
show examples
 balance of workers.
For example
Linking Words
,
In
Fix capitalization
in
show examples
 my
parent's
Check wording
parents'
show examples
 generation, it was common to
work
Use synonyms
 overtime and not get paid. No limitations
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 working hours would mean
people
Use synonyms
 working more and more to compete and
to not
Correct word order
not to
show examples
 get fired.
This
Linking Words
 led to
people
Use synonyms
 not having a life other than
work
Use synonyms
, and
this
Linking Words
 naturally led to having protests. So that resulted in
restriction
Correct article usage
a restriction
show examples
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 labour
time
Use synonyms
.
For
Change preposition
People
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 who need to
work
Use synonyms
 more than
particular
Correct article usage
a particular
show examples
 hours a week to support their family would feel
this
Linking Words
 is not positive.
For instance
Linking Words
, if a family had just one person working for them, the law would hold the person back from supporting them.
However
Linking Words
, the upside would be the fact that
people
Use synonyms
 would have more
time
Use synonyms
 to spend with their loved ones, and not worry about
work
Use synonyms
 when they are not at
work
Use synonyms
. Eventually that would lead to having a better
work
Use synonyms
effeiency
Correct your spelling
efficiency
 as well.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it would give a lot of
younger
Correct article usage
the younger
show examples
 generation a chance to
work
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of
small
Correct article usage
a small
show examples
amount
Check wording
number
show examples
 of workers having
Use synonyms
work
Verb problem
to work
show examples
 overtime. In conclusion, I believe there are far more pros from having
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
 limits than cons. They could benefit
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 who have less
time
Use synonyms
 to spend
Use synonyms
time
Check wording
apply
show examples
with their family, and help
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
non-working
people
Use synonyms
 to learn about society.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

positive highlight
The writer has a clear view and plan. Keep this strength in future work.
improvement
Add a clear topic sentence in each paragraph to show the main idea.
improvement
Fix grammar mistakes and choose the right words to make sense.
improvement
For task response, give more specific examples and a balanced view (both sides) beyond one example.
content
Clear view that limits help workers
structure
Simple structure with intro, body, and conclusion
coherence
Use of linking words to guide the reader
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. Burnout
  • 2. Work-life balance
  • 3. Productivity
  • 4. Diminishing returns
  • 5. Ethical responsibility
  • 6. Exploitation
  • 7. Fair labor practices
  • 8. Chronic illnesses
  • 9. Job creation
  • 10. Unemployment rates
What to do next:
Look at other essays: