IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart belows shows what anthropology graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree courses. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologist in work after five years

The pie chart compares the future career of the Anthropology
almuni
Correct your spelling
alumni
 from one university,
while
Linking Words
 the table provides information about their salaries over three types of
employments
Fix the agreement mistake
employment
show examples
 after 5 years employed. In general, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
graduates have full-time work,
whereas
Linking Words
 fewer of them prefer to continue
study
Replace the word
studying
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the majority of graduates working
in
Change preposition
as
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
freelance consultants and
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 government sector receive high payment.
According to
Linking Words
 the first chart, it can be observed that full-time
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 show a considerable portion, comprising just over half. In the second place, there are part-time employment and
unemployed
Replace the word
unemployment
show examples
, which have modest figures, forming 15% and 12%, respectively. Meanwhile, the alumni continuing their study and no data groups form the least
.
Check wording
data groups.
show examples
 Moving onto the table, 80% alumni employed
in
Change preposition
as
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
freelance consultants receive the highest salary ($75,000-$100,000). At the same amount, government sectors are 10% lower by margin. Private companies, in comparison, merely have fifth.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 a few of the alumni working as consultants and civil servants (20%) are paid less ($25,000-$74,999),
otherwise
Linking Words
,
private
Correct article usage
the private
show examples
 sector
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
 low payment for
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
 significant portion (45%).

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "provides" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: