IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Government should make more effort to promote alternative sources of energy. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

It is an irrefutable fact that
energy
Use synonyms
 production has become one of the most pressing
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
 in the world.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is an argued issue whether authorities should prioritise clean
energy
Use synonyms
 resources or not.
Although
Linking Words
 supporting alternative sources of
energy
Use synonyms
 can mitigate environmental
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
. I contend that
such
Linking Words
 initiatives can be expensive for authorities.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, some people think
governments
Check wording
governments'
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 support for renewable
energy
Use synonyms
 can address the issue of environmental pollution. Unlike traditional
fussil
Correct your spelling
fossil
 fuels,
such
Linking Words
 as coal, oil and
natual
Correct your spelling
natural
 gas, are contribute to air
polluation
Correct your spelling
pollution
 and climate change,
but
Correct word choice
apply
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green
energy
Use synonyms
namely
Punctuation problem
, namely
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 wind power, solar
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
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, and hydroelectric
power
Punctuation problem
power,
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 are less likely to produce harmful
emission
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emissions
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.
Thus
Linking Words
, these alternatives can reduce
golbal
Correct your spelling
global
 warming and decrease the effect of climate change.
However
Linking Words
, people cannot rely on
these
Fix the agreement mistake
this
show examples
 renewable
energy
Use synonyms
 because its production
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
dependen
Correct your spelling
depends
 on weather conditions. On the other
side
Check wording
hand
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, I believe that promoting alternative sources of
energy
Use synonyms
 can place a significant burden on government finances. Promotion often involves subsidies, financial incentives, and many more for
suporting
Correct your spelling
supporting
 companies and households, they can ,
therefore
Linking Words
, adopt renewable
energy
Use synonyms
. Implementing
such
Linking Words
 policies on a large scale
require
Correct subject-verb agreement
requires
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 a large amount of funding,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 can strain national budgets because at the same time,
government
Fix the agreement mistake
governments
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 have tremendous
responsbilities
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
 for their citizens
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as providing free basic education and health care, improving
infrastructure
Correct article usage
the infrastructure
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 of a city, and many more.
To conclude
Linking Words
, even though government support for green
energy
Use synonyms
 can reduce environmental pollution, I am of the opinion that it can put a burden on national budgets because governments already have a lot of responsibilities towards their citizens.

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structure
Start with a clear view in the first line and repeat it at the end. This helps you show your stance.
structure
Make each part talk about one main idea. Begin each part with a short line that tells the idea.
content
Give one or two easy examples or facts to prove each point. Keep to simple facts.
language
Check spell and grammar. Fix common misspellings and errors that hide the meaning.
language
Use short words and small sentences. This helps the reader follow what you say.
content
The writer shows a view on both sides of the issue.
structure
There is a clear start and end to the essay.
cohesion
Link words like 'To begin with' and 'To conclude' are used.
content
The topic is kept on energy and money.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • combat climate change
  • carbon emissions
  • renewable energy
  • energy security
  • fossil fuels
  • energy independence
  • economic growth
  • job creation
  • technological innovation
  • research and development
What to do next:
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