IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that technology has made us more social. Do you agree and disagree with stetement?

Techonology has dramatically the way
people
Use synonyms
 communicate and interact with each other.
while
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that
technology
Use synonyms
 reduces face-to-face communicating, I believe that it has actually made us more social by making communication faster, easier, and more accesible. Firsly,
technology
Use synonyms
 allows
people
Use synonyms
 to stay connected regardless of distance. In the past, communicating with friends or family who lived far away was difficultf and expensive. Today,
people
Use synonyms
 can instantly send messages, make video calls, or share updates through social media.
This
Linking Words
 helps maintain relationships and allows
people
Use synonyms
 to interact frequently than before.
Second,
Linking Words
technology
Use synonyms
 helps individuals meet new
people
Use synonyms
 and build communities based on shared interests. Online platform, social networks enable
people
Use synonyms
 from different countries and cultures to connect wtih one another.
For example
Linking Words
, someone who enjoys photography, gaming, or musical can easily join online groups and interact with others who have the same hobbies.
This
Linking Words
 expands social networks beyouds local communities.
However
Linking Words
, some crties argue that excessive
use
Use synonyms
 of
technology
Use synonyms
 can reduce real-life interaction.
People
Use synonyms
 may spend too much time on their phones
instead
Linking Words
 of talking to those around them. In addtional, when
people
Use synonyms
 spend on
technology
Use synonyms
 premium who can pay money in order to
use
Use synonyms
 in daily life.
Technology
Use synonyms
 provide
use
Use synonyms
 by connect with account or email can be accessble to
use
Use synonyms
 them. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
technology
Use synonyms
 may sometimes limit face-to-face communication, its
overall
Linking Words
 impact has made
people
Use synonyms
 more socially connected. By enabling instant communication and creating opportunities to meet new
people
Use synonyms
 worldwide,
technology
Use synonyms
 has signifacantly expanded the ways we interact with others in modern society.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar
Make the grammar and spelling better so the idea can be read with no wrong word.
structure
Keep one main idea per part and add one or two simple facts to make the idea clear.
task-response
Say your view at the start and keep it the same in the end.
examples
Add exact examples from real world, like a app or site, to back the point.
coherence
Use small linking words to show how ideas go from one to the next.
position
Clear view is given that tech makes us more social.
structure
Intro and conclusion show a basic form of essay
idea
The essay has ideas on how tech helps stay in touch.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: