IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Some people believe that a great difference in age between people and children is more beneficial. Do you think the advantages of a greater difference in age between them outweigh the disadvantages?

It is often believed that a great difference in age between
people
Use synonyms
 and
children
Use synonyms
 is more beneficial.
By contrast
Linking Words
,
i
Fix capitalization
I
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completly
Correct your spelling
completely
 agree with
this
Linking Words
 type of statement, the age difference between old
people
Use synonyms
 can teach
children
Use synonyms
 many different skills because of their experience in life and how
did
Verb problem
apply
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they
live
Wrong verb form
lived
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 before us. On one hand, old
people
Use synonyms
 can teach
children
Use synonyms
 many different skills to use
Use synonyms
theme
Use the right word
them
show examples
 in their daily lives
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
For instance
Linking Words
, old
people
Use synonyms
 can teach
children
Use synonyms
 how to read and
write
Punctuation problem
write,
show examples
 as it is very useful and helpful to read road signs or to send a letter to someone, or how to tie a bow.
Linking Words
While
Change preposition
On
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on the other hand
Linking Words
, some old
people
Use synonyms
 misunderstand some things
as
Punctuation problem
, as
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 some of
Use synonyms
theme
Use the right word
them
show examples
 lack the ability to adapt to our present time
,
Punctuation problem
. For
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for instance
Linking Words
, some old
people
Use synonyms
 can't understand
phones
Rephrase
how phones
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 work or how to use
Use synonyms
theme
Use the right word
them
show examples
 to communicate through
theme
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, the age difference can
reduced
Verb problem
be reduced
show examples
 until it is balanced
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
However
Linking Words
, it is not a problem as some old
people
Use synonyms
adapted
Wrong verb form
adapt
show examples
 to our present and can teach
children
Use synonyms
 useful skills to ease their way in life.

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task
Give a clear view that asks 'Do the larger age gap bring more good than harm?' and say your stand in the intro and again in the conclusion.
content
Explain both sides. Give at least one good point for age gap and one for not.
coherence
Use simple link words to show order and idea links, like 'First, Also, But, In short'.
grammar
Fix basic grammar and spelling. Check 'theme' to 'them', 'how did they live' to 'how they lived', 'old people' 'present time'.
language
Keep to the top 100 words; avoid long, tricky phrases.
content
The speaker has a clear view and tries to argue for it.
organization
There is a basic structure with intro, body and conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • parenting
  • financial security
  • emotional maturity
  • life experience
  • extracurricular opportunities
  • career establishment
  • flexibility
  • generation gap
  • energy levels
  • health complications
  • optimal
  • stable environment
What to do next:
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