IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

More and more students are moving to foreign countries for higher studies. Do you think its advantages outweigh its disadvantages?

In
the
Correct article usage
apply
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recent years,
studing
Correct your spelling
studying
 abroad has become a widely popular choice. A large number of
student's
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students
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 are leaving their country for the purpose of higher education.
This
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 essay will put forward the benefits
as well as
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 the drawbacks of
this
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 decision. I firmly believe
,
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apply
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 there are more benefits to
this
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 than the latter.
To begin
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 with, one of the major reasons for
pupil's
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pupils
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 to move abroad for
eduction
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education
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 is lower
tution
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tuition
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
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 compared to their home countries.
For example
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,
In
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in
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India
Add a comma
India,
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 the cost to pursue
Correct article usage
a bachelors
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bachelors
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bachelor's
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 in medicine is five times the cost of
studing
Correct your spelling
studying
 medicine in Serbia, so it is only logical for students with less financial capabilities to choose
such
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 options.
Furthermore
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, the population of India is the highest globally
but
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, but
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 there are only a limited
amount
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number
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 of seats available for admission in medical universities in
India
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India,
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that
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which
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 makes it impossible for every student to be admitted
in
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to
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med
Correct word choice
medical
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 school.
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Hence
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Hence,
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 they end up leaving their home country to find
oppotunities
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opportunities
elsewhere
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.
On the other hand
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, there are certain drawbacks to it as well
like
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, like
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 the feeling of homesickness. Staying away from your family in a completely new surrounding
which
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, which
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 is culturally quite
different
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different,
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 can be very challenging for young adults.
For instance
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, I left my country to study overseas at the age of 19
and
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, and
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 the first couple of years were very difficult for me as
i
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I
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 had to learn a new language
as well as
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 culturally adapt to
this
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 new place. But with time and gaining more maturity
I
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, I
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got through
this
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 extremely difficult phase. In conclusion, I completely feel that the perks of moving overseas for higher education are much more compared to the drawbacks.

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grammar
Fix spelling and grammar to make the test clear.
structure
Use clear topic sentences and keep one idea in each paragraph.
content
Add more proof and examples for benefits, not only cost.
content
Balance the view by showing more drawbacks or give ways to cope.
structure
The essay has a clear layout: intro, two body parts, and conclusion.
content
It uses examples (cost difference India vs Serbia) to back a point.
content
A personal story adds voice and feel.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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