IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In some countries, some criminal trials are shown on the television and the general public can watch them, do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, an increasing number of
people
Use synonyms
 pay attention to the criminal trias in their
countries
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.
Linking Words
Therefore
Punctuation problem
Therefore,
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 some criminal
trials
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 are
showed
Wrong verb form
shown
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 on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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televisions
Fix the agreement mistake
television
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 and
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
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the public can know it. In my mind, the
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
 outweigh the disadvantages. In some
countries
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, the
criminals
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 increasing gradually. The trend will influence the ordinary activities in the
countries
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
it
Punctuation problem
, it
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also
Linking Words
obstacle
Use the right word
obstructs
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 the development of
teh
Correct your spelling
the
 society. The criminal
trials
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, which are
showed
Wrong verb form
shown
show examples
 on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
televisions
Fix the agreement mistake
television
show examples
, can help
people
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 to know the importance and dignity of the
laws
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. It will help
the
Correct article usage
apply
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other
people
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 who do not know the rules to focus on the
laws
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instead
Linking Words
 of violating the law. If the crimes decline a lot, the
coutry
Correct your spelling
country
 can develop much faster than before. At the same time, it can help the children to build up the
sence
Correct your spelling
sense
 of following the
laws
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. In the future, the children in the
coutry
Correct your spelling
country
 will pay more attention to the
laws
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. It can indirectly decrease the number of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
crimes.
Last
Linking Words
 but not least, the
shows
Fix the agreement mistake
show
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 of
criminals
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 can prove the
trials
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 are fair and just. It is good for
victim's
Correct article usage
the victim's
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 family members to get compensation legally and suitably.
Although
Linking Words
 a lot of
people
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who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
think it will influence the future of the
criminals
Use synonyms
 still appear, the shows of the criminal
trials
Use synonyms
 are needed for the public in the country. It can make more
people
Use synonyms
 know the
criminals
Use synonyms
 and supervise them to change their minds. When they return
Change preposition
to the
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the
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 daily
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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, more
people
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 can help them
to
Verb problem
apply
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understand the change
of
Change preposition
in
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 the
criminals
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. At the same time, the public can pay attention to the
criminals
Use synonyms
 who have transformed. It can indirectly know the abilities of their
countries
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. It is another method to show the abilities of the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
.  In conclusion, if some criminal
trials
Use synonyms
 appear
in
Change preposition
on
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
television, the number of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
crimes will decrease a lot
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the processes can be more suitable and legal.
Linking Words
Therefore
Punctuation problem
Therefore,
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 the advantages
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
 the disadvantages.

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structure
Plan what you want to say first. Make a plan for your view and the points you will use.
task response
State a clear answer in the first line and keep this view in the essay.
coherence
Use more linking words to tie ideas and keep the flow from one paragraph to the next.
structure
Group ideas in clear blocks: intro, body with main points, then a short conclusion.
language accuracy
Check grammar and spelling; fix common errors like misspelt words.
content
Give one or two clear examples that fit the point you are making.
content
Try not to repeat the same idea; keep new points in each paragraph.
content
The writer shows a clear view that the good side can be bigger than the bad.
structure
There is a plan with an intro, body, and conclusion.
content
The essay makes an effort to give reasons for the view.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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