IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

In some countries fast food restaurants and supermarkets give money to schools to promote their product. Do you think it’s a positive or negative development of children ?

Some of the countries
do
Verb problem
apply
show examples
promote fast food and
supermarket
Fix the agreement mistake
supermarkets
show examples
 and
asking
Wrong verb form
ask
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 to promote
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
 ads for
money
Use synonyms
 .
Now a days
Use the right word
Nowadays
show examples
Punctuation problem
, youngster
show examples
youngster
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
show examples
 want
money
Use synonyms
 and do any work for
money
Use synonyms
 because most of the
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 are new, and they need
money
Use synonyms
 as per their requirement
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
it's a help for those who
don't
Verb problem
are not
show examples
 capable
to take
Change preposition
of taking
show examples
 help from their family
, they
Punctuation problem
. They
show examples
 are
also
Linking Words
 small
working
Replace the word
workers
show examples
 who
working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
 in
welding
Correct article usage
a welding
show examples
 shop to post the hoarding on the board ,road .
However
Linking Words
, it is a help for them
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 making a small help in future
.it's
Punctuation problem
. .it's
show examples
 a positive aspect for me.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
promoting for
Verb problem
people who promote
show examples
 ads
people
Check wording
apply
show examples
use little kids to work for them, so they do
for
Correct pronoun usage
it for
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 Survival, but I think it is not good for their
good
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
future.

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structure
Begin with a short introduction that states your view clearly.
structure
Put one main idea in each paragraph and finish with a short conclusion.
language
Use simple, clear sentences and fix common grammar issues.
content
Give small, real examples to back your points.
task response
You try to discuss both sides of the issue.
coherence
You show a personal view in places.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • childhood obesity
  • conflict of interest
  • corporate marketing strategies
  • extracurricular programs
  • nutritional information
  • paradox
  • brand loyalty
  • sugar, fat, and sodium
  • health problems
  • educational messages
What to do next:
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