IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart shows the number of worked per week by men and women in Australia. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

The bar graph provides information about the proportion of employees by gender weekly in Australia.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly seen that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
than
Use the right word
the
show examples
 more
hours
Use synonyms
 given,
than
Use the right word
the
show examples
 more
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 involved until 60
hours
Use synonyms
. Another striking feature is that, in the peak(80
hours
Use synonyms
) number of workers
equally
Verb problem
is equally
show examples
. Looking at the details, as regards
mens
Correct your spelling
men
, the modest mark is five per
cent
Use synonyms
 in 0-10
hours
Use synonyms
. After that,
this
Linking Words
 figure
increasing
Wrong verb form
increased
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 to around 10, and almost
substantial
Correct article usage
a substantial
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 45 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in subsequent working
hours
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, in 60-80 witnessed
reduction
Correct article usage
a reduction
show examples
 to 30, and 10 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in over 80
hours
Use synonyms
.
By contrast
Linking Words
, when it comes to
Correct your spelling
women
womens
Punctuation problem
womens,
show examples
 it goes in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 similar direction.
For instance
Linking Words
, in the first mark it accounted for three times bigger than a
mens
Correct your spelling
man
,
also
Linking Words
 in 10-20
hours
Use synonyms
 it has probably 22 per
cent
Use synonyms
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, in another stage it made up
significant
Correct article usage
a significant
show examples
 35 per
cent
Use synonyms
, and approximately 18 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in
60
Correct article usage
the 60
show examples
-80.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
comparance
Correct your spelling
comparison
 they have the same number as
mens
Correct your spelling
men
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words hours, cent with synonyms.
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