IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart illustrates data of different kinds of activities that have
certain
Correct article usage
a certain
show examples
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of participants at a social centre in Melbourne, Australia
from
Punctuation problem
, from
show examples
 2000 to 2020.
Overall
Linking Words
,
film
Correct article usage
the film
show examples
 club has been the most famous one
at
Change preposition
of
show examples
 all time
compares
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to any other activities.
Although
Linking Words
 they have undergone increasing and decreasing, each activity has
their
Fix the agreement mistake
its
show examples
 own members at least in
year
Correct article usage
the year
show examples
 2020. Before 2010, every of them
did not go
Verb problem
went
show examples
 through
significant
Correct article usage
a significant
show examples
 change
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their
member
Replace the word
membership
show examples
 number
, despite
Punctuation problem
. Despite
show examples
 musical performances, they started from zero
participant
Fix the agreement mistake
participants
show examples
 in 2005 to over ten
people
Use synonyms
 in 2010. In 2010, amateur dramatics and table tennis
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
exactly the same
amount
Check wording
number
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 participated
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
. After 2010, there came a
determine
Replace the word
determining
show examples
 point of amateur dramatics and table tennis, table tennis
raised
Verb problem
rose
show examples
 to more than 50 participants, whilst amateur dramatics dropped to less than ten
people
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
 film club remains over sixty
people
Use synonyms
 in their group, relatively stable than other activities.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words people with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • participation rates
  • trends
  • significant increases/decreases
  • stable numbers
  • fluctuations
  • overall participation
  • comparison
  • activities
  • social centre
  • Melbourne
  • participants
  • highlight
  • report
  • graph illustrates/demonstrates
  • 20-year period
  • key features
  • main features
  • statistical data
  • variations
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