IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays, as a part of education process, students work at a company for a short period of time without pay. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In
modern
Correct article usage
the modern
show examples
 era, education
curriculum
Fix the agreement mistake
curricula
show examples
 are designed where
students
Use synonyms
 have to work at any organisation without any
renumeration
Use the right word
remuneration
show examples
 for a short period.
This
Linking Words
 is often termed as 'Internship'.
While
Linking Words
 some people argue that unpaid work may exploit the
students
Use synonyms
 but I think the advantages far outweigh the
disadvantages
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
how the advantages of working as an intern
outweighs
Correct subject-verb agreement
outweigh
show examples
 the
disadvantages
Use synonyms
. One of the most significant benefits of working in any agency as a trainee is that
students
Use synonyms
 get hands-on experience that can not be achieved in
classroom
Correct article usage
the classroom
show examples
. As
classroom
Correct article usage
a classroom
show examples
 can only provide theoretical knowledge, experiencing corporate culture can prepare
students
Use synonyms
 for their future. They can
face
Use synonyms
 real-world problems, teamwork,
professional
Correct word choice
and professional
show examples
 responsibilities through which they will definitely excel when they enter their career. Working as an intern may not benefit them financially
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 it provides
solid
Correct article usage
a solid
show examples
 foundation for
the
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 professional life.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there are many companies which
prioritize
Change the spelling
prioritise
show examples
 employees who already possess
basic
Correct article usage
a basic
show examples
 level of work
experiene
Correct your spelling
experience
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, internships can improve the future employment prospects for
students
Use synonyms
 and aid in securing a full-time job.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 can help to explore different career paths
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 can align their interests with their
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, unpaid
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
show examples
 have some drawbacks. They may get exploited by their supervisors with
workload
Correct article usage
the workload
show examples
 and may
face
Use synonyms
 office politics
while
Linking Words
 working at any office.
Students
Use synonyms
 may
also
Linking Words
face
Use synonyms
 rude
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 and bullying from their seniors, which may push them into
inferiority
Correct article usage
an inferiority
show examples
 complex
while
Linking Words
 working as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
temporary staff at any office.
This
Linking Words
 can hurt their self-respect and destroy their confidence. In conclusion, though
students
Use synonyms
 may
face
Use synonyms
short-time
Use the right word
short-term
show examples
 problems, working as an intern can benefit them in the
long-run
Use the right word
long run
show examples
. If
students
Use synonyms
 ignore the minor
disadvantages
Use synonyms
 of working without payment at any company, it can contribute
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 improving communication skills, team
builiding
Correct your spelling
building
, problem
solving
Use the right word
problem-solving
show examples
 capacity
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 will definitely make them valued in their professional life.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
 of working as a trainee far outweigh the
disadvantages
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Answer the question more fully. You clearly say your view, but you can explain the bad side a little more before you show why the good side is stronger.
task response
Use one or two clear examples. This will make your ideas stronger and more real.
task response
Some ideas are good but a few are too general. Add more clear detail about how internship helps students in real life.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end. Keep this shape.
coherence and cohesion
Use shorter sentences in some parts. A few sentences are long and hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Linking words are used well, but sometimes they are used too much. Use them only when needed.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph focus on one main idea only. This will make your writing easier to read.
task response
You answer the question and give a clear opinion from the start.
task response
You explain several good points of internship, like work experience and future job chance.
task response
You also mention some bad points, so your response feels balanced.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is easy to follow because it has clear paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present and clear.
coherence and cohesion
Most ideas connect in a logical way.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • real-world experience
  • soft skills
  • networking opportunities
  • workplace culture
  • career exploration
  • professional relationships
  • academic knowledge
  • theoretical application
  • job market
  • head start
  • industry connections
  • unpaid internship
  • employability
  • practical experience
  • individual development
What to do next:
Look at other essays: