Some people think that dangerous sports should be banned while others believe that people should be free to choose .discuss bothe these views and give your own opinion

In the modern era, there is a considerable debate over whether authorities should impose a ban on adventure
sports
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or allow individuals to participate without any restrictions.
This
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essay will examine both
prespectives
Correct your spelling
perspectives
before presenting my own view. On the one hand, proponents of extreme
sports
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argue that people have
autonomy
Correct article usage
the autonomy
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to take part. In democratic countries, personal liberty is considered
as
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apply
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a fundamental right. Preventing them from participating in their chosen pursuits can be seen as an infringement on their rights.
For example
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,
activities
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,
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apply
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such
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as motor racing, rock climbing, and parachuting
,
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apply
show examples
involve inherent risks, but some people still enjoy the challenge and achievement. Banning these events would unnecessarily restrict personal choices. From
this
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prespective
Correct your spelling
perspective
, banning
such
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events would unnecessarily restrict personal choices;
therefore
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, these pursuits should remain available to the public.
On the other hand
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, I contend that hazardous
sports
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should be prohibited
due to
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overwhelming safety concerns.
This
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is because these
sports
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often carry a high risk of accidents and fatalities, and the resulting injuries can be severe
including
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, including
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fractures, head trauma, and even
deaths
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death
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.
Thus
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,
this
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is the government's responsibility to protect citizens' lives.
For example
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, Rishikesh in India is known for dangerous
sports
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, where many individuals have lost their lives
due to
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inadequate safety measures and
extreme
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the extreme
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nature of
sports
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.
Therefore
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, the authorities' duty is to protect their citizens from
such
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life-threatening risks
To conclude
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,
although
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participating in
high risk
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high-risk
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activities
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may be considered a personal right, I strongly assert that authorities should ban these
activities
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. Safeguarding human life is more important than the pursuits of thrill-seeking
activities
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.

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task response
For task response, you answer both sides and give your opinion, so this is good. But your main ideas could be more full and more balanced.
task response
For task response, your example about India is useful, but it needs more detail to clearly show why a full ban is the best choice.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear intro, body, and end, so it is easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, some linking words are used well, but a few ideas feel repeated, such as 'restrict personal choices'. Try to avoid saying the same point again.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, one sentence in the second body part is not very smooth: 'Thus, this is the government's responsibility...' You can connect this idea more clearly to the point before it.
task response
You discuss both views and clearly give your own opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two body parts, and a clear end.
coherence and cohesion
Most ideas stay on the topic and support your main point.
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