IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Independent films released in the UK and the Republic of Ireland by genre in 2012.

The table chart shows Independent films released in the UK and the Republic of Ireland by genre
2012
Change preposition
in 2012
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, counted in number of
releases
Use synonyms
,
percentage
Use synonyms
 of all
releases
Use synonyms
, and
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
income
Use synonyms
 from ticket sales. Despite the fact that the types of film as drama and
documentary
Punctuation problem
documentary,
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 had the same number and
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
releases
Use synonyms
however
Linking Words
 their
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
income
Use synonyms
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 significantly different
,
Punctuation problem
;
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 Drama brought 8.3% profit
Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
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 documentary only 2.9%
from
Change preposition
of
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 the total amount.
Biopic
Correct article usage
The biopic
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 genre had an
income
Use synonyms
a
Change preposition
of a
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little more than 9% but other indicators were around 1. In spite
that
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the comedy film had the lower quantity of
releases
Use synonyms
 than some other films but the result was profitable, just below
a
Correct article usage
apply
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half
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
all
Correct determiner usage
the
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sum
Correct word choice
total sum
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. Thriller and Romance
genre
Fix the agreement mistake
genres
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 had
a
Correct article usage
apply
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quit
Use the right word
quite
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 enough amount and
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
releases
Use synonyms
meanwhile
Punctuation problem
, meanwhile
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 their
income
Use synonyms
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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increadibly
Correct your spelling
incredibly
 lower than
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
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. Unlike other genres, horror was
enough successful
Correct word order
successful enough
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. There were 14 shows and 9.5% of
rellases
Correct your spelling
releases
. The profit was a fairly large
percentage
Use synonyms
 of the amount.

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task response
Add a clear overview after the first line. Say the main trends in one or two short lines.
task response
Compare more key data. For example, say comedy had the biggest share of income, while drama and documentary had many releases but low income.
task response
Use exact words for data. Say ticket sales income, not profit, because the table shows share of income, not real profit.
coherence and cohesion
Group ideas in a clear way. Put high income genres in one part and low income genres in another part.
coherence and cohesion
Use easy linking words well: while, but, also, in contrast, overall.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence form. Some lines are hard to follow because words are in the wrong place.
task response
You mention key genres like drama, documentary, comedy, thriller, romance, and horror.
task response
You use some numbers to support your points, like 8.3%, 2.9%, and 9.5%.
coherence and cohesion
You try to compare genres, for example drama and documentary, and comedy with other films.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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