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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The diagram below shows the average hours of unpaid work per week done by people in different categories. (Unpaid work refers to such activities as childcare in the home, housework and gardening.)

The bar graph illustrates the amount of unpaid
huors
Correct your spelling
hours
 per
week
Use synonyms
 completed by women and
Use synonyms
man
Fix the agreement mistake
men
show examples
 with different family situations.
Overall
Linking Words
, it
si
Use the right word
is
show examples
 clear that the
maried
Correct your spelling
married
woman
Use synonyms
spending
Wrong verb form
spends
show examples
 significantly more time on unpaid
work
Use synonyms
 than
Use synonyms
man
Fix the agreement mistake
men
show examples
,
particullary
Correct your spelling
particularly
 when they have
children
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the number of unpaid
hours
Use synonyms
remain
Correct subject-verb agreement
remains
show examples
 relatively stable regardless of
whather
Correct your spelling
whether
 they have
children
Use synonyms
 or not. The people
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 have the
majour avarege
Correct your spelling
major average
hours
Use synonyms
 unpaid are, in general,
maried
Correct your spelling
married
Use synonyms
woman
Fix the agreement mistake
women
show examples
. The
woman
Use synonyms
maried
Correct your spelling
married
 with three or plus
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
 accounted
around
Change preposition
for around
show examples
 58
hour
Fix the agreement mistake
hours
show examples
 per
week
Use synonyms
 from unpaid
work
Use synonyms
 as childcare,
house
Use the right word
housework
show examples
work
Use synonyms
exetera
Correct your spelling
etc
.
This
Linking Words
 value
decrease
Correct subject-verb agreement
decreases
show examples
 around
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
51
hour
Fix the agreement mistake
hours
show examples
 per
week
Use synonyms
, for
Use synonyms
woman
Fix the agreement mistake
women
show examples
maried
Correct your spelling
married
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 take
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
care
one
Change preposition
of one
show examples
 or two
children
Use synonyms
,
insted
Correct your spelling
instead
30
Change preposition
of 30
show examples
hours
Use synonyms
 per
week
Use synonyms
 for
wife
Fix the agreement mistake
wives
show examples
that
Correct word choice
who
show examples
not
Verb problem
do not
show examples
 have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
childre
Correct your spelling
children
. Move on
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
maried
Correct your spelling
married
man
Use synonyms
 part; the situation is different
becose
Correct your spelling
because
Use synonyms
man
Correct article usage
a man
show examples
acconted
Verb problem
accounts for
show examples
 around 27
hours
Use synonyms
 per
week
Use synonyms
 for
work
Use synonyms
 not
payed
Verb problem
paid
show examples
 without
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
 and with one or two
children
Use synonyms
 as well. The
situatio
Correct your spelling
situation
 is
differntent
Correct your spelling
different
 for
Use synonyms
man
Correct article usage
a man
show examples
 who has three or more
children
Use synonyms
 in their
hous
Correct your spelling
household
,
this
Linking Words
 category has
average
Correct article usage
an average
show examples
15
Change preposition
of 15
show examples
hours
Use synonyms
 per
week
Use synonyms
 related to
unpid
Correct your spelling
unpaid
work
Use synonyms
 in
house
Correct article usage
the house
show examples
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words week, man, woman, work, children, hours with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • distribution
  • demographics
  • household responsibilities
  • societal expectations
  • norms
  • childcare
  • housework
  • gardening
  • contributions
  • family structure
  • cultural implications
  • social implications
  • work-life balance
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