Some people think human behaviors can be limited by laws, others think laws have little effect. What is your opinion?

In recent years,many
people
Use synonyms
assumed can prevent the
dagerous
Correct your spelling
danger
by creating
Use synonyms
rols
Correct your spelling
roles
.
Whereas
Linking Words
other assumed
Use synonyms
rols
Correct your spelling
roles
have
inefficient
Correct article usage
an inefficient
show examples
impact.In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
I will discuss both views and give my opinion. On the one hand,the
govenment
Correct your spelling
government
should create
Use synonyms
rols
Correct your spelling
roles
and
Use synonyms
punishment
Fix the agreement mistake
punishments
show examples
for
people
Use synonyms
who have
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
show examples
impact
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
socitey
Correct your spelling
society
.
This
Linking Words
is because,may reduce the number of
crimes
Use synonyms
,but some
crimes
Use synonyms
have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
little effect
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the community.
Therefore
Linking Words
,the government can create
Correct article usage
a boared
show examples
boared
Correct your spelling
board
for the
punishment
Use synonyms
,
also
Linking Words
put different levels for every crime.
Which
Correct pronoun usage
This
show examples
this
Linking Words
board can explain and
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
show examples
the
punishment
Use synonyms
to local
citezin
Correct your spelling
citizens
.
For example
Linking Words
,driving cars
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
high
speed
Fix the agreement mistake
speeds
show examples
,killing other
people
Use synonyms
and theft from gold shops,all these
crimes
Use synonyms
have different
Use synonyms
punishment
Fix the agreement mistake
punishments
show examples
,so when
people
Use synonyms
see how these
crimes
Use synonyms
can be punished may decrease the number of
crimes
Use synonyms
and aware
people
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,some communities have a large amount of
crimes
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
the laws cannot prevent them.Because the
criminals
Use synonyms
knew
when
Correct word choice
that when
show examples
they
commited
Correct your spelling
committed
a
crime
Punctuation problem
crime,
show examples
the laws
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
a small impact on them.For
inctance
Correct your spelling
instance
,killers,thieves and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
of
criminals
Use synonyms
,when they commit a
crime
Punctuation problem
crime,
show examples
have
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
same
punishment
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,the government can solve
this
Linking Words
problem by
create
Wrong verb form
creating
show examples
a new team and new members to recreate the
Use synonyms
rols
Correct your spelling
roles
and laws,after that may
can
Verb problem
be able to
show examples
start to reduce the
crimes
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
when the local
people
Use synonyms
and
enourmes orgnisations
Correct your spelling
enormous organisations
help the
criminals
Use synonyms
,
may
Correct pronoun usage
it may
show examples
causes
Wrong verb form
cause
show examples
a large number of hard problems. In conclusion.I think both views have some logical reasons.
However
Linking Words
,the government can create new
Use synonyms
rols
Correct your spelling
roles
to
shows
Wrong verb form
show
show examples
their power and
abilitey
Correct your spelling
ability
to the
criminals
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Answer the question more clearly. Say your opinion in the introduction and keep it clear in all body parts.
task response
Develop each main idea more. Explain how laws can stop some people, and why they do not stop others.
task response
Use more clear and real examples. Your example about crime is relevant, but it needs better detail.
coherence and cohesion
Make topic sentences simple and direct. This will help the reader follow your main point.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with clear words like on the one hand, on the other hand, because, for example, and therefore.
coherence and cohesion
Check paragraph flow. Some sentences are hard to follow because the order of ideas is not always clear.
task response
You answered both sides of the question and gave your opinion at the end.
task response
You used examples about crime and punishment, which fit the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You tried to use linking words to connect ideas.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
What to do next:
Look at other essays: