IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think it is better to choose friends who always have the same opinion as them . other people believe it is good to have friends who sometimes diasgree with them.Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some
people
Use synonyms
 think it is better to choose
friends
Use synonyms
 who always have the same
opinion
Use synonyms
 as
them
Punctuation problem
them,
show examples
while
Linking Words
 others believe it is good to have
friends
Use synonyms
 who sometimes disagree with them. Discuss both these views and give your
opinion
Use synonyms
. Some individuals believe that it is better to choose
friends
Use synonyms
 who always have the same
opinion
Use synonyms
 as
them
Punctuation problem
them,
show examples
whereas
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 others argue that it is good to have
friends
Use synonyms
 who sometimes disagree with them.
This
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 essay will discuss both sides before I give my personal
opinion
Use synonyms
. It is widely believed that it is good to have
friends
Use synonyms
 who share
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 lifestyle and opinions with them in order not to feel awkward
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while
Change preposition
during
show examples
 conversation.
Similarly
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, when they have
friends
Use synonyms
 who thinks same as
them
Punctuation problem
them,
show examples
 it makes
easy
Correct pronoun usage
it easy
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 to understand each other and if
your
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
 views
come
Verb problem
are
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 similar
so
Correct word choice
,
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 there is a very little risk
to have
Change preposition
of
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 misunderstanding.
For
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example
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, simply choosing movies to watch is easy when their friend’s and their taste are similar or
discussion of
Replace the word
discussing
 news, soap operas,
actors
Correct word choice
and actors
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 becomes interesting. Talking about the same topic
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 is entertaining for both of
them
Punctuation problem
them,
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 gives
sense
Correct article usage
a sense
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 of relief and belonging.
On the other hand
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, there are some
people
Use synonyms
 who consider that having
friends
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 who sometimes disagree with them is beneficial. When you have
friends
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that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 only
thinks
Correct subject-verb agreement
think
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 the way you think makes you bored.
Although
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 it is believed that having
friends
Use synonyms
 who are in the same field as you is good, it prevents residents from self-development.
For
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example
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, when they have
incorrect
Correct article usage
an incorrect
show examples
 understanding about
something
Punctuation problem
something,
show examples
this
Linking Words
 type of friend can inform them about
this
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 situation.
People
Use synonyms
 can learn things from each other, by communicating with
people
Use synonyms
 who
thinks
Correct subject-verb agreement
think
show examples
 differently from you
gives
Correct pronoun usage
, which gives
show examples
the
Correct pronoun usage
you
show examples
 points that you are not seeing.
For
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Use synonyms
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 when
people
Use synonyms
 exchange ideas about one
book
Punctuation problem
book,
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 some can like the plot
while
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 others
not
Verb problem
do not
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which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 makes communication better.
Moreover
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,
people
Use synonyms
 learn to express and state their opinions and give examples about things.
For
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example
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,
while
Linking Words
 listening to other
ideas
Punctuation problem
ideas,
show examples
 they develop their own and can even correct themselves. From my point of view , it is good to have
friends
Use synonyms
 who think
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 as
you
Punctuation problem
you,
show examples
 is good but having
friend
Check wording
friends
show examples
 who can disagree with you
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 some points is necessary and beneficial. In conclusion, having
friends
Use synonyms
 who are in
some
Correct determiner usage
the same
show examples
 field as you is interesting and makes some things easy
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 it certainly prevents you from self-development.
Therefore
Linking Words
Use synonyms
friends
Punctuation problem
, friends
show examples
 who disagree with you
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 some points and correct your mistakes are essential.

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task response
Answer both views in a more equal way. The second view has more detail than the first view.
task response
Make your opinion very clear in one simple sentence. Now your view is a bit mixed.
task response
Use examples that are more clear and more direct. Some examples are too general.
coherence and cohesion
Put one main idea in each part, then explain it, then give one example.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like 'first', 'also', 'however', and 'for example' in a careful way.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order. Some lines are hard to follow because the grammar changes the meaning.
task response
You answered the full question and talked about both sides.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and a clear ending.
task response
You tried to support your ideas with examples.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a basic paragraph plan, so the reader can follow it.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • like-minded
  • harmony
  • conflict
  • emotional support
  • belonging
  • intellectual growth
  • critical thinking
  • open-mindedness
  • diverse viewpoints
  • challenging beliefs
  • social circle
  • supportive environment
  • echo chamber
  • narrow-mindedness
  • globalized society
  • empathy
  • respectful debate
  • collaboration
  • resilience
  • adaptability
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