IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some areas , public parks and open spaces are being turned into garden where local people can grow their own fruits and vegetables. Does advantages outweigh disadvantages?

In some areas , public
parks
Use synonyms
 and open
spaces
Use synonyms
 are being turned into
garden
Check wording
gardens
show examples
 where local
people
Use synonyms
 can grow their own fruits and vegetables .
This
Linking Words
 essay
bellow
Use the right word
below
show examples
 will discuss both advantages and disadvantages before
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 give my personal opinion . One of the main advantages
turning
Change preposition
of turning
show examples
parks
Use synonyms
 and open
spaces
Use synonyms
 into gardens is that
people
Use synonyms
 can grow
own
Correct determiner usage
their own
show examples
 food without purchasing it from supermarkets .
This
Linking Words
 can be very helpful for
people
Use synonyms
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 are
struglling
Correct your spelling
struggling
 financially.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
instead
Linking Words
 of buying
this
Linking Words
product
Punctuation problem
product,
show examples
 they can spend
this
Linking Words
 money for another useful things
like
Punctuation problem
, like
show examples
 clothes for children or paying taxes . Morever growing plants and trees can be very helpful for
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 . Especially in the
last
Linking Words
decade
Punctuation problem
decade,
show examples
 there are problems like air pollution and climate change ,
they
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 are likely
occur
Verb problem
to occur
show examples
 for the reason
people
Use synonyms
 are cutting trees
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 helps to reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
carbon dioxide in the air , and
fully
Verb problem
have fully
show examples
 stopped growing plants at home .
For
Linking Words
instance
Add a comma
instance,
show examples
 if
people
Use synonyms
 restart planting in the
gardens
Punctuation problem
gardens,
show examples
 it will be the start of actions which improves condition of
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 . With
fabuluos
Correct your spelling
fabulous advantages
adavantages
Add a comma
adavantages,
show examples
 there are some drawbacks that can be seen .
People
Use synonyms
 usually use
parks
Use synonyms
 and open
spaces
Use synonyms
 for walking , regaining their energy , to escape from
hustle
Correct article usage
the hustle
show examples
 and bustle of urban areas, or for family gatherings . If
parks
Use synonyms
 and open
spaces
Use synonyms
 are fully changed into
gardens
Punctuation problem
gardens,
show examples
 there will be no places for
people
Use synonyms
 to walk and relax .
For
Linking Words
instance
Add a comma
instance,
show examples
 large
parks
Use synonyms
 are used for making picnics , for family gatherings
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 simply to read a book by being surrounded by nature , without
Linking Words
this
Punctuation problem
this,
show examples
 places the
face to face
Correct your spelling
face-to-face
 communication
betweeen
Correct your spelling
between
people
Use synonyms
 can reduce. Open
spaces
Use synonyms
 are used for open cinemas in summer
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 go there
entertain
Verb problem
to entertain
show examples
 themselves and to have fresh air . Widely believed that watching films in open
spaces
Use synonyms
 rather
in
Correct word choice
than in
show examples
 cinemas
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 more interesting and refreshing .
As a result
Linking Words
 , there will be no place for
people
Use synonyms
which helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
who help
show examples
 to escape from the city
noice
Correct your spelling
noise
 and where they can feel themselves alive
forgetting
Punctuation problem
, forgetting
show examples
 their duties .
Therefore
Linking Words
 diasadvantages surely outweigh the advantages . Making decisions or growing trees or plans is beneficial
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 it should not come at the expense of
parks
Use synonyms
 . In conclusion government should implement other suggestions or actions
instead
Linking Words
 of changing public places . Despite
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
 which can be
count
Wrong verb form
counted
show examples
 by changing
Use synonyms
parks
Punctuation problem
parks,
show examples
 there can
be still
Correct word order
still be
show examples
 serious disadvantages .
People
Use synonyms
 can plant their fruits in their yard or buy
in
Correct pronoun usage
them in
show examples
 supermarkets ,
Use synonyms
parks
Correct word choice
but parks
show examples
 should not be changed.

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task response
Answer the question more clearly from the start. Say if the good points are more than the bad points, and keep this view clear in all parts.
task response
Develop each main idea more. Some ideas are good, but they need a bit more clear support and explanation.
task response
Use examples that are simple and direct. Some examples are relevant, but a few are too general.
coherence and cohesion
Make topic sentences more clear. Start each body part with one clear main point.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas in a smoother way. Some linking words are used, but they are not always natural.
coherence and cohesion
Keep each paragraph focused on one idea. A few parts move from one point to another too fast.
task response
You answer both sides of the question and give your own opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
There are relevant ideas about food, money, the environment, and public use of parks.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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