IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Qualities of success in today's world cannot be learnt at university or academic institutions . Do you agree or disagree with this idea?

In the modern era, some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
academic
Correct article usage
an academic
show examples
 certificate can'
t
Use synonyms
 lerned the
success
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.
While
Linking Words
 others argue that
Use synonyms
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
 can teach
students
Use synonyms
 how to be
Use synonyms
success
Replace the word
successful
. In my opinion, I
am
Verb problem
apply
show examples
agree with arguemt that academic institutions can
lernt
Correct your spelling
learn
success
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 in many ways. On the one hand, more and more
people
Use synonyms
 think that
success
Use synonyms
 can'
t
Use synonyms
 be achieved with acadimic
degree
Use synonyms
. In fact,
success
Use synonyms
 can be achieved by anyone without
Use synonyms
degree
Correct article usage
a degree
show examples
 or attend some classes, it
born
Verb problem
is born
show examples
 with
insistence
Correct article usage
the insistence
show examples
 to be
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 person.
Forthermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, real
success
Use synonyms
 need soft skills,
such
Linking Words
 as clear talk to deal with
clints
Correct your spelling
clients
, problem-solving
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 solve many problems in
easy
Correct article usage
an easy
show examples
 way
wich that
Correct your spelling
which
 cannot be
lernt
Correct your spelling
learned
 in the
university
Use synonyms
 and thinking outside the box to be more creative and innovative. A study
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 New York
University
Use synonyms
 in 2019 concluded that 80% of rich
people
Use synonyms
 don'
t
Use synonyms
 have any
acadimic
Correct your spelling
academic
degree
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.
As a result
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, academic institutions can'
t
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 learn
students
Use synonyms
 what the real market
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, other
people
Use synonyms
 argue that
academic
Correct article usage
an academic
show examples
 certificate is
requirement
Correct article usage
a requirement
show examples
 to be
successfull
Correct your spelling
successful
.
Although
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 successful is
word
Correct article usage
a word
show examples
 that carries a lot of meanings depending on the person and can
beavieved
Correct your spelling
be achieved
 in many ways. Universities can be
major
Correct article usage
a major
show examples
 factor that
boost
Correct subject-verb agreement
boosts
show examples
 your quality of
success
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 through group talk, assignments, and group
project
Check wording
projects
show examples
.
Students
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 can learn time
care
Check wording
management
show examples
 by submitting the assignments before the deadline, and how to work with
people
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don'
Correct pronoun usage
they don't
show examples
t
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 know.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
university
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 is essential for student to
preparing
Wrong verb form
prepare
show examples
 them
into
Change preposition
for the
show examples
 work environment through subjects
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
related
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their major and
internship
Correct article usage
an internship
show examples
 program.
For example
Linking Words
, I was prepered to the job that I joined in
major
Correct article usage
the major
show examples
 of finance when I was in
university
Use synonyms
due to
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internship
Correct article usage
an internship
show examples
 program that I worked in
company
Correct article usage
a company
show examples
 and
do
Wrong verb form
did
show examples
 what I
lernt
Correct your spelling
learned
 in
financial
Correct article usage
the financial
show examples
 subject.
Therefore
Linking Words
, academic institutions can teach and
preper
Correct your spelling
prepare
students
Use synonyms
 for
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
. In conclusion,
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
academic
Correct article usage
an academic
show examples
degree
Use synonyms
 can'
t
Use synonyms
 make successfull. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 I believe that
university
Use synonyms
 is
crucial
Correct article usage
a crucial
show examples
 step
to
Correct word order
for people to achieve
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 for achieving
success
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Make your main idea very clear in the first line. Your opinion changes and this makes the reader unsure.
task response
Answer all parts of the question in a direct way. Say clearly why you agree or disagree.
task response
Use ideas with more support. Some points are good, but they need clearer reasons.
task response
Your example is helpful, but it needs simpler and clearer detail.
coherence and cohesion
Put one main idea in each paragraph. This will make your essay easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words carefully. Some are used in the wrong place or too often.
coherence and cohesion
Make the order of ideas smoother. Some sentences do not connect well to the next one.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, but they should match your opinion more clearly.
task response
You wrote both sides of the topic, so the reader can see the full discussion.
task response
You gave a personal example, and this helps support your point.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear paragraph form with an introduction, body, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use some linking words like On the one hand and On the other hand.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • soft skills
  • team work
  • leadership
  • real-life experience
  • practical learning
  • self-control
  • grit
  • deal with failure
  • risk-taking
  • problem solving
  • time management
  • work placement
  • project work
  • self-discipline
  • clear thinking
  • formal education
  • strong base
  • career growth
  • personal qualities
  • academic knowledge
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