Nowadays , more people are choosing to socialize online rather than face to face. Is this a positive or a negative development?

In today's fast-paced
soceity
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society
, a growing number of individuals
prioritize
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prioritise
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online
platform
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platforms
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to communicate over direct engagement. I believe that
this
Linking Words
is a positive trend since it can save their time
To begin
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with, since the majority of people are preoccupied with their professional and personal commitments, they experience challenges
,
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when
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interacting with their extended family and social circle
personally
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apply
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. Thanks to social media,
such
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as Snapchat, Instagram, and Facebook, not only can they
call
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make
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audio and video calls, they
also
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share their daily activities with them by posting reels and
picture
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pictures
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.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
trend is less likely to diminish their relationships; in fact, it enables them to communicate frequently.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the technology advancements
enables
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enable
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individuals to reduce geographical barriers without needing to expend their budget on the transportation system. Unlike
previous
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the previous
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generation, who had to spend their money on public transit, or airfare to maintain long-distance connections and attending offical meetings, today's youth can communicate instantly over
the
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apply
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social media. Google Meet is a significant example of
this
Linking Words
scenario, empowering individuals to attend
conferene
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conference
meetings around the globe, communicating with their overseas family
member
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members
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, and
many
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much
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more.
To conclude
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, I believe that it is a
favorable
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favourable
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development, as it strengthens their relationships despite having a hectic schedule,
alongside
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while
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diminishing the financial burden associated with physical travel. since they can make their relationships
more
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apply
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stronger, and it is
also
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beneficial to save their hard-earned money
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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was previously spent on the transportation system.

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task response
State your main view in a more full way in the first part. You say it is positive, but you should also say why in a clear full sentence.
task response
Add one or two more clear examples to support each main point. This will make your ideas stronger.
task response
Explain your ideas a bit more deeply. Some points are good, but they need more detail to be fully clear.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one clear main idea in each body part. This will help your essay feel more easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words carefully. Some are good, but a few sentences feel too long or not smooth.
coherence and cohesion
Do not add a new extra ending line after the conclusion. Put all final ideas in one conclusion only.
task response
You answer the question and give a clear opinion that online social life is positive.
task response
Your main ideas are on topic: saving time, keeping close contact, and saving money.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear basic shape with an introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use linking words like 'To begin with', 'Moreover', and 'To conclude', which helps the reader follow your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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