Some people believe that schools should focus mainly on academic subjects such as mathematics and science. Others believe that subjects such as music, art, and sports are equally important.

In modern times, tertiary learning plays a crucial role in individuals' lives and contributes to the improvement of society.

While

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some people argue that schools should focus mainly on academic

syllabus

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syllabi

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such

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as mathematics and science, others believe that educational

program

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programs

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like music, art, and sports are equally important.

This

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essay will discuss both perspectives before presenting my own view. On the one hand, the goal of the literacy system is to facilitate lifelong learning and improve people's quality of life. Through a curriculum that includes a broad range of educational

program

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programs

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, pupils acquire not only theoretical knowledge but

also

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essential skills for the future,

such

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as critical thinking, problem-solving, independent learning, and analytical and cognitive abilities. If these

syllabus

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syllabi

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are given equal importance, they can form a strong foundation for success in many aspects of life.

For instance

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while

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mathematics and science enhance intellectual addition and logical reasoning, music, art, and sports learning play a vital role in emotional well-being, fostering creativity, building self-confidence, promoting physical health, and aiding stress management,

in addition

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to enhancing artistic ability.

On the other hand

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, not only do academic modules enhance intellectual

advance

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advancement

, but they

also

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contribute to technological advancement. These disciplines are fundamental to technological and scientific progress, equipping individuals with problem-solving abilities that are essential for innovation.

Moreover

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, strong foundations in fields

such

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as medicine, engineering, and information technology often lead to highly sought-after and well-paid careers, which can significantly improve individuals’ career prospects and contribute to

overall

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economic growth. In conclusion, it is widely acknowledged that all

schedule

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schedules

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are essential for both career prospects and societal adulthood. A well-designed curriculum can greatly enhance technological and economic progress

while

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also

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fostering creativity, social understanding, and a healthy and fulfilling life. From my perspective, students should receive a balanced discipline in which all

program

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programs

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studies

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study

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are given equal importance.

odonchimegchoijin0

Mar 12, 2026

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task response

For task response: You answer both sides and give your view, which is good. To get a higher score, make each main idea more clear and more direct.

task response

For task response: Add one more real and clear example. Your math, science, music, art, and sports points are relevant, but one strong example would help more.

task response

For task response: Some word choices make your ideas less clear, such as 'literacy system', 'intellectual addition', and 'societal adulthood'. Use more natural words.

coherence and cohesion

For coherence and cohesion: Your essay has a clear 4-part shape: intro, one side, other side, and conclusion. This is a strong point.

coherence and cohesion

For coherence and cohesion: Some sentences are too long and hold too many ideas. Break them into shorter parts so the reader can follow more easily.

coherence and cohesion

For coherence and cohesion: Linking words are used well, like 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand'. But do not put too many ideas in one sentence after a linker.

task response

You discuss both views and give your own opinion. This fits the task well.

coherence and cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are both clear and complete.

coherence and cohesion

Your main points stay on topic in each body paragraph.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

308 words

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Some people believe that schools should focus mainly on academic subjects such as mathematics and science. Others believe that subjects such as music, art, and sports are equally important.

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Many people go through life doing work that they hate or have no talent for. Many people go through life doing work that they hate or have no talent for. Why does this happen? What are the consequences of this situation?