IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The bar chart below shows the sector contributions to India’s gross domestic product from 1960 to 2000

The given graph depicts that the three categories
supplies
Change preposition
of supplies
show examples
 to India’s household utilities between 1960 and 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 the services led the way to consuming products
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
however
Linking Words
, the agriculture was witnessed a
sharply
Replace the word
sharp
 decrease
the
Change preposition
during the
show examples
 given period of time. On the other
hand
Correct word choice
On the other hand
show examples
, the industry showed at least progress between these fields. Looking at details, in the initial period, the percentage of agriculture
took
Verb problem
was
show examples
 the highest position with 62%
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
this
Linking Words
 indicator dropped
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
significantly
down
Rephrase
apply
show examples
to the lowest position through the given period and reached to 13% in the ultimate time;
nevertheless
Linking Words
, the index of services constituted of 17% in the preliminary stage and
went up
Correct word order
then went up to peak
show examples
then
Linking Words
 peaked at 63% ,
as a result
Linking Words
, showed the highest result
between
Change preposition
among the
show examples
 three distinct sectors. In terms of
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 the ratio of the
industry
Punctuation problem
industry,
show examples
was observed the lowest development
Correct word order
the lowest development was observed
show examples
, which started out 15
%
Punctuation problem
%,
show examples
then
Linking Words
skyrocket
Wrong verb form
skyrocketed
show examples
 to 28% in 1980 and stayed unchanged until the given timeframe.

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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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