IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that books are losing importance as a source of information and entertainment. To what extent do you agree?

In the modern era, the majority of
people
Use synonyms
 think that the importance of
books
Use synonyms
 is
reducing
Verb problem
decreasing
show examples
 in
people
Use synonyms
's lives, and they have started to
use
Use synonyms
 other sources of entertainment and information. I totally agree with
this
Linking Words
 viewpoint since recreational
centres
Use synonyms
 and playdium locations are being developed
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
e-
Use synonyms
books
Use synonyms
 are more convenient to
use
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.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, recreational
centres
Use synonyms
 are becoming a popular source of entertainment, where parents can enjoy facilities with their children and the elderly as well. Modern Individuals often experience time constraints for leisure activities
due to
Linking Words
 their professional commitments, leaving them with a limited time for both amusement and family members. So, the
centres
Use synonyms
 have solved their problem because it provides a platform where they can enjoy together. To illustrate, Earnscliffe
recreation
Fix capitalization
Recreation
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 is a popular spot among citizens in Brampton because
they have
Fix the agreement mistake
it has
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 countless amenities. They can swim and play other outdoor and indoor games together. Not only can
centres
Use synonyms
strengthens
Wrong verb form
strengthen
show examples
 their bonds
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 they
also
Linking Words
 provide an enjoyable way.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the popularity of
e-
Use synonyms
books
Use synonyms
 is escalating every day because they are easy to
use
Use synonyms
. Since electronic
books
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 have a special built-in function,
it
Fix the agreement mistake
they
show examples
 can provide an insight into
unfamilier
Correct your spelling
unfamiliar
 words thoroughly. Unlike traditional
books
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
 had to carry a dictionary when they read
books
Use synonyms
, the
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
e-
Use synonyms
books
Use synonyms
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 reduced
this
Linking Words
 requirement.
For example
Linking Words
, Kindle is a device designed for
every ages of
Correct word order
people of all ages
show examples
people
Use synonyms
, which
offer
Correct subject-verb agreement
offers
show examples
 synonyms and antonyms of a word. The majority of today's generation
Use synonyms
use
Correct subject-verb agreement
uses
show examples
 it to
gaining
Wrong verb form
gain
show examples
 knowledge.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I contend that traditional
books
Use synonyms
 are
loosing
Use the right word
losing
show examples
 their importance, as recreational outlets
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 the place where every family member can enjoy together, alongside
e-
Use synonyms
books
Use synonyms
 offer vast information about topics. Ultimately, reading
book
Correct article usage
a book
show examples
 is
normally
Rephrase
apply
show examples
not a common hobby
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 all members
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 a family.

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task response
Answer the question more directly. Say why books lose importance for both information and fun.
task response
Keep your main idea the same in all parts. Your view is clear, but some points talk more about free time than books.
task response
Give fuller support. Explain more clearly how each example shows that books are less important now.
coherence and cohesion
Use one clear topic for each body paragraph. This will make your essay easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more simply and clearly. Some sentences are long and hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Check paragraph focus. The first body paragraph should connect more closely to books as entertainment.
task response
You give a clear opinion in the introduction.
task response
You include examples like a recreation centre and Kindle.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use basic linking words like To begin with, Moreover, and To conclude.
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