IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that printed books are no longer necessary in this digital era as all writing can be stored electronically. Others, think that printed books still play important roles. Discus both views and give your opinion

It is opined by many individuals that ,
physicle
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physical
 copies of
books
Use synonyms
 are unnecessery now a days , as we can access them online on electronic devices,
Linking Words
While
Fix capitalization
while
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 others oppose by saying that printed
books
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 are still
crutial
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crucial
. Both views have their own advantages and disadvantages. In
this
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essay
Punctuation problem
essay,
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 we
shell
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shall
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 discuss both sides , followed by my own perspective. People who are in favour of
this
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 statement argue that we should eliminate all
books
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 in the physical form because we not only have to allocate space to store these
books
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 , but
also
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 it requires
maintanence
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maintenance
.
Where as
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Whereas
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,
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apply
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all of
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this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
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 efforts can be
eliminate
Wrong verb form
eliminated
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 by accessing them
electronicaly
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electronically
.
Therefore
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 ,
logicaly
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logically
 it makes more
sence
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sense
 to not have them in printed form. Critics of the above statement opine that ,
although
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 we have become so far tecnologicaly ,
that
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apply
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we only need a laptop or an
Ipad
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iPad
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 to access any book in the world, yet printed
books
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 play a very important role. It is
scientificly
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scientifically
 proven that reading from
books
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 enables a reader to
focous
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focus
 more than e-
books
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.
Moreover
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 , when it comes to health
reading
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, reading
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 a physical book
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 less negative effect , e-
books
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Linking Words
however
Punctuation problem
, however
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, are capable of
effecting
Use the right word
affecting
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 our eyes and brain adversely. In my opinion , we must have
printer
Replace the word
printed
books
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 because the feeling of reading only comes from
books
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 and more importantly , when we
reed
Wrong verb form
read
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 from a
book
Punctuation problem
book,
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 we are way more focused that a e-book. The fact is
beyound
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beyond
 doubt that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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printed
books
Use synonyms
needs
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need
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 a lot of manpower to manage them , but it
helpes
Correct your spelling
helps
 to generate more jobs in
the
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apply
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society.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. You did this, but each side needs one more clear idea.
task response
Give a clearer opinion from the start and keep it the same all through the essay.
task response
Use one simple real example to support your view. This will make your ideas stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end, which is good.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more smoothly. Some words like 'Where as' and 'Therefore' are used, but some sentences do not join well.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph stay on one main point only. This will make your writing easier to follow.
task response
You discussed both views and gave your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
You used separate paragraphs for each main part of the essay.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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