IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

some people believe that students should learn practical skills such as cooking, budgeting, and car maintenance at school. while others think that schools should only focus only on academic subjects.

While
Linking Words
 some people argue that
students
Use synonyms
 should learn practical skills
such
Linking Words
 as cooking, budgeting, and car maintenance at school. Others believe that
schools
Use synonyms
 should only focus on academic subjects.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both perspectives before presenting my own personal view, which supports a balanced approach. On one hand, allowing
schools
Use synonyms
 to focus only on academic subjects may help
students
Use synonyms
 advance their career trajectory and gain
broader a
Correct word order
a broader
show examples
 understanding of the world.
For instance
Linking Words
, assisting
students
Use synonyms
 to focus on specialised professions
such
Linking Words
 as engineering or
mdecine
Correct your spelling
medicine
 may
benefit
Verb problem
help
show examples
 them
to
Wrong verb form
apply
show examples
build long term stability. On the
o ther
Correct your spelling
other
 hand, allowing
schools
Use synonyms
 to teach practical skills
such
Linking Words
 as cooking, budgeting, and car maintenance may
benefit the
Verb problem
help
show examples
students
Use synonyms
to
Wrong verb form
apply
show examples
become more independent and more
self reliant
Correct your spelling
self-reliant
.
For instance
Linking Words
, teaching
students
Use synonyms
 how to cook may help them to become more
self reliant
Correct your spelling
self-reliant
 and less dependent on fast food.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 focusing on academic subjects may help the
students
Use synonyms
 to build
long term
Correct your spelling
long-term
 stability. In my personal view, I see that
schools
Use synonyms
 should teach practical skills to
students
Use synonyms
 to be more independent and be more
self reliant
Correct your spelling
self-reliant
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Write a clear answer in each body part. Say why the idea is good or bad, then add one simple example.
task response
Your view is given, but make it stronger. Say the same main idea from start to end.
task response
Add a little more detail to each main point. Now the ideas are clear, but they are a bit short.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a good basic shape: intro, two body parts, and conclusion. Keep this plan.
coherence and cohesion
Be careful with sentence breaks. The first line has a small problem because the first part is not a full sentence by itself.
coherence and cohesion
Use link words in a simple and correct way, like on the one hand, on the other hand, for example, and in conclusion.
task response
You answer both sides of the topic.
task response
You give examples that match your main ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is easy to follow because each part has one main idea.
coherence and cohesion
You have both an introduction and a conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: