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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The two pie charts below show the marital status of the populations of Canada and Australia. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The two pie charts compare the marital status of the
population
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 of
Canada
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 and
Australia
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. They display whether the citizens are separated, married, single, widowed, divorced or married to the same sex. 
Overall
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, a large proportion of Canadian citizens and Australian citizens are either married or separated but not divorced. The percentage of separated people is higher among Canadians than that of Australians.
Conversely
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,
Australia
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's
population
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 experiences a larger figure for married status, accounting for 46%, than that of
Canada
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's
population
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, which represents only 29%.
Moreover
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, the percentage of separated people in
Canada
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, which amounted to 53%, is the largest among all the statistics within the two countries.
By contrast
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, married people make up 29% of the Canadian
population
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 and only 1% are
highlighted to be
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officially divorced.
Similarly
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, the divorce rates in
Australia
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 stand roughly at 2%. Another noticeable feature is the fact that
Australia
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 does not show the data for the same sex marriage,
whereas
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 in
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Canada
Punctuation problem
Canada,
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 they make up 3%.
In addition
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, relatively low figures are displayed for widows and singles for both countries.

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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words population, canada, australia with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "display" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • marital status
  • population
  • pie charts
  • percentage
  • categories
  • Married
  • Single
  • Divorced
  • Widowed
  • distribution
  • noticeable trends
  • comparison
  • significantly different
  • similarities
  • striking differences
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