society is experiencing an increase in many problems such as crime and drug abuse due to urbanization. Give some suggestions to control this trend?

Urbanization
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Urbanisation
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is one of the defining characteristics of any modern
society
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. Unplanned
urbanization
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urbanisation
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often
lead
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leads
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to serious problems
such
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as criminal activities and
drug
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addiction. There are many
initiatives
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initiatives,
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I think government should take to control these issues. First and foremost, in any
society
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, better education and employment opportunities are needed.
That is
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because educated and employed people do not engage
themselves
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apply
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in crimes and
drug
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trafficking.
For example
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, if a person is well
eshtablished
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established
and has a secure job and income source, they do not have to worry about their families. But,
If
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if
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someone is struggling to feed their families, they are more likely to
involve
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be involved
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in
actvities
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activities
like murder, pickpocketing, abduction, kidnapping,
drug
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selling
etc
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, etc
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.
Therefore
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, the authority must
have to
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apply
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ensure that the people in the
society
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have the opportunities to do business, entrepreneurship, even if it is
in
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on
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a small-scale. Government can take initiatives to arrange vocational
trainings
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training
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, skill-development programs, and job
oppotunities
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opportunities
. Another important aspect is providing
community
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support and social services. Often, urban life can lead to social isolation, and local authorities should take necessary steps to
minimize
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minimise
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that to strengthen the cooperation, coordination, and harmony within any
community
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. To reduce
the
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apply
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drug
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addiction,building
community
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centres, rehabilitation programs,
counseling
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and counselling
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sessions must be taken.
Additionally
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, effective law enforcement is
manadatory
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mandatory
. Stronger policing,better surveillance,
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drug
Correct word choice
and drug
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trafficking
shoul
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should
be monitored. If miscreants are controlled by strict rules and regulations, crime rates in any
society
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will be minimised. In conclusion, though
urbanization
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urbanisation
show examples
is necessary in
this
Linking Words
fast-paced world, it may bring crimes
,
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and
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anomalies in any
society
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. But
,
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apply
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if both the
community
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and the authority are working together to tackle the problems, inhabitants in any
society
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can live peacefully with their families.

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task response
Answer all parts in a more direct way. You give some good ideas, but you should clearly show how each idea helps control crime and drug abuse.
task response
Use more clear and specific examples. Your example about poor people is general, but a more real and exact example would make your point stronger.
task response
Develop each main point a bit more. Some ideas are good but short, so the essay feels a little general in places.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end, which is good. Keep this simple structure.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words more carefully. Some parts connect well, but a few sentences feel too long or not smooth.
coherence and cohesion
Group similar ideas together. For example, law, jobs, and community help are good points, but each paragraph should stay very focused on one main idea.
task response
You answer the question and give more than one way to control the problem.
task response
Your main ideas are relevant to the topic, especially education, jobs, community help, and law enforcement.
coherence and cohesion
You have both an introduction and a conclusion, which helps the essay feel complete.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow overall because each paragraph has a main idea.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • urbanization
  • community policing
  • youth programs
  • education systems
  • economic disparity
  • criminal activities
  • drug rehabilitation
  • substance abuse
  • urban planning
  • public spaces
  • mental health services
  • legal ramifications
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