IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

As countries develop, their populations tend to live individually or in small family units. What are the causes of this trend and what are the effects on society？

As governments evolve, their indigenous
people
Use synonyms
 tend to reside individually or in
family
Correct article usage
a family
show examples
 home.In
this
Linking Words
 essay i will shed light on
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
 reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
Linking Words
 epidemic and give a substantial conclusion.
in
Fix capitalization
In
show examples
 my opinion, the first and foremost cause is economic independence.
in
Fix capitalization
In
show examples
 the past, generations
were living
Wrong verb form
lived
show examples
 with their family because of financial difficulties. As countries develop
their
Punctuation problem
, their
show examples
 job facilities
also
Linking Words
 improves as a regard.
This
Linking Words
 trend
allowing
Wrong verb form
allows
show examples
 society to earn higher incomes, which
allow
Correct subject-verb agreement
allows
show examples
 them to afford living alone.
However
Linking Words
, modern economic conditions make
possible
Correct pronoun usage
it possible
show examples
 for young generations to move out and start living independently.
This
Linking Words
 trend has possible effects
society
Change preposition
on society
show examples
.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the positive side, it encourages candidates to be more productive at their work
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it brings more responsibility.
People
Use synonyms
 learn
manage
Verb problem
to manage
show examples
 their economies and their own
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. On the negative
side
Add a comma
side,
show examples
this
Linking Words
 tendency contributes
loneliness
Change preposition
to loneliness
show examples
 and social isolation. When
people
Use synonyms
 live
alone
Punctuation problem
alone,
show examples
 they can have
less
Correct determiner usage
fewer
show examples
 interactions with their families.
As a result
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 lifestyle can cause loneliness and depression. In conclusion main reasons for
people
Use synonyms
 to live individually or living in small family houses
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 economic independence.
While
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 trend contributes
independency and
Change preposition
to independence
show examples
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
it can
reduce
Rephrase
also reduce
show examples
 family relationships.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. You talk more about causes and less about effects on society.
task response
Use clearer ideas. Some lines are hard to understand, so your meaning is not always clear.
task response
Add one or two real and clear examples to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Make topic sentences clear at the start of each body paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more smoothly. Some sentences do not connect well.
coherence and cohesion
Group positive and negative effects in a more balanced way.
task response
You answer both causes and effects, so you address the full question.
coherence and cohesion
You have an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Some main ideas are easy to see, such as economic independence and loneliness.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • nuclear family
  • extended family
  • individualism
  • urbanization
  • economic independence
  • financial autonomy
  • personal freedom
  • societal values
  • cultural shift
  • technological advancement
  • solitary living
  • virtual connectivity
  • demographic trends
  • population dynamics
  • aging population
  • lifestyle choices
  • social structures
  • interpersonal relationships
  • privacy
  • household management
  • economic opportunities
What to do next:
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