IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe the government should spend money on building train and subway lines to reduce traffic congestion. Others think that building more and wider roads is the better way to reduce traffic congestion. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Few individuals believe that it can
solve
Wrong verb form
be solved
show examples
 by
build a
Wrong verb form
building
show examples
 more subway or railway
station
Fix the agreement mistake
stations
show examples
. But
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 Others argue that
increased
Replace the word
an increase
 in existence
road
Use synonyms
 width
maybe
Verb problem
may be
show examples
 a better
solution
Use synonyms
. Here I am going to discuss both views.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the
one
Use synonyms
 hand,
In
Fix capitalization
in
show examples
 recent
time
Check wording
times
show examples
 most of the countries
are suffer
Wrong verb form
have suffered
show examples
 from various types of problems, in which traffic jam is
one
Use synonyms
 of the most
.
Correct word choice
common.
show examples
 Here
is some
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 several reasons for
occuring
Verb problem
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 problem.
One
Use synonyms
 of the most problem is the increasing of private
transportation
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, recent
survey
Correct subject-verb agreement
surveys
show examples
 show that most of the country sells incresed in private
car
Use synonyms
 sector
,
Punctuation problem
. Also
show examples
also
Linking Words
,
In
Fix capitalization
in
show examples
one
Use synonyms
family
Punctuation problem
family,
show examples
 there is
separate
Correct article usage
a separate
show examples
vehicles
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicle
show examples
 for every mature person.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the increasing of private
car
Use synonyms
 sector not only
congestion
Verb problem
causes congestion
show examples
 on
Use synonyms
road
Check wording
roads
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
effect
Verb problem
has an effect
show examples
 on nature. More
car
Use synonyms
 means more gas and
emission
Check wording
emissions
show examples
. So,
If
Correct determiner usage
if the
show examples
 state
just
Rephrase
apply
show examples
only
width
Verb problem
states the width
show examples
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 roads It may not be
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
solution
Use synonyms
, Because, It may
be excelled
Verb problem
cause
show examples
 the
car
Use synonyms
buy
Wrong verb form
to be bought
show examples
.
Also
Linking Words
,
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
may
Verb problem
apply
show examples
should take other step
such
Linking Words
 as increasing tax on imported
Use synonyms
car
Check wording
cars
show examples
as well as
Linking Words
owned
Wrong verb form
owning
show examples
 a
car
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, most of the cities
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 no
adequat
Correct your spelling
adequate
 space to increase their
road
Use synonyms
. Sometimes
city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
 structure
maybe collapsed
Wrong verb form
may collapse
show examples
 if
Use synonyms
road
Correct article usage
the road
show examples
 is increased by unneccesary plan. For
Use synonyms
solution
Correct article usage
the solution
show examples
 government may create
metrorail
Correct article usage
a metrorail
show examples
, trump and
as well as
Linking Words
 subway station. In most of the
bussiest
Correct your spelling
busiest
 cities
also
Linking Words
get
Verb problem
apply
show examples
benefit
developing
Change preposition
from developing
show examples
this
Linking Words
 type of
transportation
Use synonyms
system
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
,
In
Fix capitalization
in
show examples
 several bussiest city in the world
like
Punctuation problem
, like
show examples
 Tokyo, Dhaka and Delhi government take step
as well as
Linking Words
 build
transportation
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
system
Check wording
systems
show examples
 like metro rail. It
also
Linking Words
 save peoples time and money.
In addition
Linking Words
, in public
transportation
Use synonyms
, many people can travel from
one
Use synonyms
 place to another place, it
take
Correct subject-verb agreement
takes
show examples
 less space on
Use synonyms
road
Correct article usage
the road
show examples
. We can
realize
Change the spelling
realise
show examples
 it easily, if hundreds of people use their private
car
Use synonyms
,
than
Use the right word
then
show examples
 it definately need more space in
road
Use synonyms
, but
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 public
transportation
Use synonyms
 can easily reduce
this
Linking Words
 problem. In conclusion,
In
Fix capitalization
in
show examples
 my opinion,
It
Fix capitalization
it
show examples
 depends on
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
country
Check wording
country's
show examples
 infrastructure condition that the country is suitable for
expended
Replace the word
expansion
 in
Use synonyms
road
Check wording
roads
show examples
 or
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
build
Wrong verb form
building
show examples
 public
transportation
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as railway,metrorail
or
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
, trum. But
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 most of the bussiest city has not properly able to change their
infrustucture
Correct your spelling
infrastructure
,
It
Fix capitalization
it
show examples
 may collapse their entire
system
Use synonyms
, so
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 develop new public
transportation
Use synonyms
system
Use synonyms
 is a better
solution
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Answer both sides more clearly, then give your view in a direct way.
task response
Use main ideas with clearer support in each body part.
task response
Add one or two simple and real examples for each side.
coherence and cohesion
Make topic sentences clear at the start of each part.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, however, so, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating the same point and keep one main idea in one paragraph.
task response
You discussed both views and gave your opinion at the end.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
task response
You used examples like Tokyo, Dhaka, and Delhi to support your ideas.
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