IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same thing and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss bot these views and give your opinion.

It is popular opinion that
remain
Wrong verb form
remaining
show examples
 stable
entire
Change preposition
throughout one's entire
show examples
 live withount changes is not a bad idea,
whereas
Linking Words
 others disagree. I believe that the second statement bears more truth in
real-
Correct article usage
a real-life
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 context. One of the major reasons why
change
Wrong verb form
changing
show examples
 yourself
during all
Change preposition
throughout
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 is better -
plateau
Correct article usage
a plateau
show examples
 is boring.
This
Linking Words
 can be explained by the fact that, over
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time
Punctuation problem
time,
show examples
 your
life
Use synonyms
 will be transformed into a routine, and all things that you do will
bored
Wrong verb form
bore
show examples
 you.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, if you choose an impulsive lifestyle, you would not even know what will happen tomorrow.
This
Linking Words
 is largely
due to
Linking Words
 another crux of an
excistance
Correct your spelling
existence
 - new city, new car, maybe new country almost every day, so you will feel a high dopamine(happiness) and will never
strees
Correct your spelling
stress
, because you will witness new emotions and feelings daily. From my perspective,
life
Use synonyms
 should be interesting and attractive.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 popular quote
:
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 you should live in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 way that your kids will remember you with pride. One of the main reasons for
this
Linking Words
 is that if humanity
was
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 not suppose a risky decisions, we
were
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
 not
found
Verb problem
have found
show examples
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
electricity and
others
Correct word choice
other
show examples
 paramount
inventories
Check wording
inventions
show examples
 in
nowadays
Check wording
today's
show examples
life
Use synonyms
. Even though
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 it
is maybe does
Verb problem
may
show examples
 not matter
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 someone, but I convinct that all individuals
wants
Correct subject-verb agreement
want
show examples
 to be an example for all.
Thus
Linking Words
, from
impact
Correct article usage
an impact
show examples
 standpoint, it is irrational to
excist
Correct your spelling
exist
 without changes.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
merit
Correct article usage
the merit
show examples
 of
stable
Correct article usage
a stable
show examples
 lifestyle is
you
Correct word choice
that you
show examples
 will
happy
Verb problem
be happy
show examples
 in
eldness
Correct your spelling
old age
.
For instance
Linking Words
, you will probably find a wife, create a family, buy a house and all that
required
Verb problem
is required
show examples
 for
relax
Replace the word
relaxation
 and calm
happines
Correct your spelling
happiness
 in
age
Correct determiner usage
your age
show examples
. In
adittion
Correct your spelling
addition
, you can
moved
Wrong verb form
move
show examples
 without worries, because even every dog will know you, you will
have not
Correct word order
not have
show examples
 fake friends, lovely neighbours, so you can just calmly chill in your childhood house, because you can rely on others. After your
life
Use synonyms
, big number of people will not forget you, and you will
leaved
Wrong verb form
live
show examples
 in their memory forever. In conclusion,
converted
Correct article usage
a converted
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 does more good than harm. I believe so because of two major reasons: funny
life
Use synonyms
 and impact on your kids or just future.

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task response
Answer both sides more clearly. Say why some people like no change, and why others like change.
task response
Give your opinion in a direct way in the introduction and keep it the same through the essay.
task response
Use more real and clear examples. Some ideas are too general or not easy to believe.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph have one main idea only. This will make your writing easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words well, like first, also, however, for example, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Check that each sentence connects to the one before it. Some parts jump too fast from one idea to another.
task response
You answered the main question and gave your opinion.
task response
You included both views and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has clear paragraphing.
coherence and cohesion
Words like On the other hand and In conclusion help the reader.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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