IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

some people believe that loss of animals and plants as major environmental issue while others think that there are other major environmental problems. what is your opinion?

Some individuals think that loss of animals and plants in major environmental
proplem
Correct your spelling
problem
.
While
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 others believe that there are
another
Correct determiner usage
other
show examples
 major environmental issues.
Personaly
Correct your spelling
Personally
, I completely agree with other major problems because
water
Use synonyms
 and
air
Use synonyms
pollution
Use synonyms
become
Verb problem
have become
show examples
 widespread in recent days.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, there are major issues because of
air
Use synonyms
pollution
Use synonyms
. Factories and cars pollute
cause
Correct word choice
and cause
show examples
 diseases for
humens
Correct your spelling
humans
 and animals.
For example
Linking Words
, Frequent uses cars and
factors
Correct word choice
other factors
show examples
 lead to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
air
Use synonyms
pollution
Use synonyms
therefore
Linking Words
 increasing diseases and
cause
Wrong verb form
contributing
show examples
 to animal extinction. In short,
its
Correct pronoun usage
it's
show examples
 important to reduce
of use
Correct word order
the use of
show examples
 cars and factors.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
water
Use synonyms
pollution
Use synonyms
 is another major problem. Throwing some plastic weast is harms seas and rivers.
For instance
Linking Words
, some families and
friends
Punctuation problem
friends,
show examples
 when they
went
Wrong verb form
go
show examples
 to the sea
they
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
 throw their
staff
Check wording
trash
show examples
 in
to
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
water
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of throwing it in the trash
Punctuation problem
. This
show examples
this
Linking Words
 may
harms
Wrong verb form
harm
show examples
 and kills the marine
lifes
Check wording
life
show examples
 and effects humens. In brief, humans
shoud
Correct your spelling
should
 protect the
environmental
Replace the word
environment
 by recycling plastic
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and keeping the oceans clean.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I believe that there are othere are other major environmental problems because of widespread
water
Use synonyms
pollution
Use synonyms
 and
air
Use synonyms
pollution
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Answer the question more clearly. Say why you think other problems are more important than loss of animals and plants.
task response
Add one more clear idea about how these problems affect people, animals, or the earth.
task response
Use examples with more detail. Your ideas are good, but they need a little more support.
coherence cohesion
Make each body paragraph easy to follow. Start with one main idea, then explain it, then give an example.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words in a clear way, like first, for example, because, and in conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Check sentence order and grammar so your meaning is easier to understand.
task response
You give a clear opinion in the introduction and conclusion.
task response
You write about two main problems: air pollution and water pollution.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a simple structure with introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
You use some linking words like To begin with, On the other hand, and To conclude.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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