IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1.5

Some people think that governments should only focus their spending on public services, and they claim that spending on arts is a waste of money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

I personally agree with that statement.
the
Fix capitalization
The
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 government should manage things in the country
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 equally, and make sure that every
parts
Fix the agreement mistake
part
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 of the country
developed
Verb problem
is developed
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 enough for
citizen's life
Check wording
citizens' lives
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.
Due to
Linking Words
 the fact that
in
Change preposition
apply
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my country, Thailand, doesn't have that
much
Correct determiner usage
many
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 facilities
especially
Punctuation problem
, especially
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 in the countryside. Like my home town
SaKeao
Punctuation problem
, SaKeao
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which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 is one of the small
province
Fix the agreement mistake
provinces
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 that
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 only
few
Correct article usage
a few
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 hospitals, and even a big hospital in one of the big
district
Fix the agreement mistake
districts
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 doesn't have enough tools that they
neet
Correct your spelling
need
 to send
patient
Fix the agreement mistake
patients
show examples
 to the main city of the province.
That is
Linking Words
 why I think
government
Correct article usage
the government
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shoud
Correct your spelling
should
 focus on public
sevices
Correct your spelling
services
 first.

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coherence cohesion
Write a full intro, one or two body parts, and a short end part.
coherence cohesion
Use clear link words like first, also, for example, and so.
coherence cohesion
Make each main point bigger with one more reason and one more example.
task achievement
Answer all parts of the task. Say how much you agree, and also say why arts may still matter.
task achievement
Give a more full idea about public services, such as health, school, roads, and water.
task achievement
Use one or two clear examples with detail to make your point strong.
task achievement
Your main view is clear from the start: you agree that public services should come first.
task achievement
You give a real example from Thailand, and this helps your essay feel real and true.
coherence cohesion
Your ideas mostly stay on one main line, so the reader can follow your point.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • public services
  • government spending
  • a waste of money
  • health care
  • education system
  • public transport
  • basic needs
  • quality of life
  • the arts
  • cultural life
  • national pride
  • local community
  • public support
  • equal access
  • creative skills
  • tourist income
  • create jobs
  • bring people together
  • long-term value
  • balanced approach
  • funding
  • museum
  • gallery
  • music show
  • public space
  • young people
  • express ideas
  • social benefit
  • economic benefit
  • key duty
What to do next:
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