IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

A person's worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honor, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. To what extend do you agree/ disagree with this option?

It is really sad to say, but it is true. Intentionally or not, I believe that people seem to be judged by social
life styles
Correct your spelling
lifestyles
, and it is really sad to say that the
one
Use synonyms
 being judged is not the
one
Use synonyms
 that upload good things on
a
Correct article usage
apply
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social media, but it is uasually be the
one
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 watches others' lives and
judged
Wrong verb form
judges
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 themselves. People
are
Verb problem
apply
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always love to upload good things in their lives on social media and
thinks
Correct subject-verb agreement
think
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 that if their lives have nothing
good
Punctuation problem
good,
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 they will be judged by others. In fact, they are the
Use synonyms
one
Fix the agreement mistake
ones
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 who judged themselves
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 already. So, these are the
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
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 why I agree with the statement.

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task response
Answer all parts of the question. You say you agree, but you do not talk much about old values like honor, kindness, and trust.
coherence and cohesion
Add one more body paragraph. One paragraph can talk about money and status, and one can talk about why old values still matter.
task response
Use clearer main ideas. Now the essay repeats social media ideas and does not fully explain the topic.
task response
Give one simple real example. For example, talk about a kind poor person and a rich rude person.
coherence and cohesion
Write a short ending. A conclusion helps the essay feel complete.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like First, Also, However, and In the end.
task response
Your main view is clear. You agree with the statement.
coherence and cohesion
You stay on one topic and do not go far from your main idea.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a simple flow from opinion to reason.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • social status
  • material possessions
  • traditional values
  • luxurious lifestyles
  • high social standing
  • prioritize
  • trustworthiness
  • values are upheld
  • charity
  • community involvement
  • tight-knit communities
What to do next:
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