IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart shows men and women in different age groups who did no exercise in 2005. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and lake comparisons where relevant.

The bar graph provides data about diverse gender and age clusters peoples that did not keep-fit in 2005.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly seen that
this
Linking Words
 number
ever-increasing
Verb problem
is ever-increasing
show examples
 despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
various
criterias
Replace the word
criteria
. Another striking feature is that
proportion
Correct article usage
the proportion
show examples
 of female are always more than male. Looking at the details, as regards
mens
Correct your spelling
men
, their percantage are less than 40 even in 55+.
For instance
Linking Words
, the initial group of 18-24 had probably a mere ten per
cent
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the subsequent stage had double of it.
However
Linking Words
,
grops of
Check wording
groups
show examples
 of 35-44 and 45-54 accounted for approximately 30 per
cent
Use synonyms
, but the
last
Linking Words
 had
number
Correct article usage
a number
show examples
nearby
Change preposition
near
show examples
 a significant 40 per
cent
Use synonyms
 of citizens who did
no
Rephrase
not
show examples
 exercise.
By contrast
Linking Words
, when it comes to
female
Check wording
females
show examples
, it went in the opposite direction.
For example
Linking Words
, the first group made up almost 20 per
cent
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
45
Correct article usage
the 45
show examples
-54
had
Check wording
age group had
show examples
 twice
of it
Correct pronoun usage
as much
show examples
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the groups of 25-34 and 35-44 have around 30 per
cent
Use synonyms
, but the cluster of 55+ illustrated a
substantial
Rephrase
substantially
show examples
 more than 40 per
cent
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words cent with synonyms.
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