More and more people nowadays visit well-known places to take photographs of themselves, without looking at the place. Why do you think this is happening? Is it a positive or a negative trend?

The trend of taking self-photographs has become common nowadays. It has been observed that people pay more attention to clicking the self-pictures
instead
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of feeling and enjoying the site's view. There
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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a wide range of factors that are
accountable
Correct word choice
responsible
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for
this
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soaring concern.
However
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, it is evident that
this
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development has a negative impact on
society
Use synonyms
.
This
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essay will elucidate both perspectives in subsequent paragraphs. There are a myriad of causes responsible for
this
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escalating concern. The most prominent among them is the influence of social media. It is undeniable that people are in a kind of competition with others to showcase their lives by sharing their snaps on social sites.
For example
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, Facebook and Instagram are prime examples where individuals share their personal photographs most. Another reason stems from the fact that they are more concerned about the memories. To elaborate, capturing moments in the form of photos will help them to recall these days whenever they feel low in the future to motivate themselves.
Therefore
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, the root causes of
this
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trend become increasingly apparent within the framework of modern
society
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. Having taken
this
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development into account, it appears to implicate negligence of place, leading to negative outcomes. First and most significantly, it challenges the importance of place. As a matter of fact, focusing on photography raises the chances that visitors can miss the valuable things and views at the site
and
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, and
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it would be difficult for them to explain the key features of that place. It is needless to ignore that they might miss the positive vibes of that location.
This
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is to say that the famous sites has it own importance, beauty and history
and
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, and
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people can easily ignore
when
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them when
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they
busy
Verb problem
are busy
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with their personal things. which has
further
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negative implications for individuals and
society
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at large.
To conclude
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, the issue of taking
Correct determiner usage
their
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own pictures during their visit
at
Change preposition
to
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famous places stems from various interrelated causes and has clear negative implications for
society
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.
However
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, with coordinated efforts and timely intervention, it is certainly possible to alleviate its impact and foster a more balanced and sustainable outcome.

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task response
Answer both questions more directly. You explain why this happens well, but your view on why it is bad needs one more clear point.
task response
Give more specific support for your ideas. Add one real or clear example about how people ignore the place.
task response
Some ideas are not fully clear. Use shorter sentences and make each main idea easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end, which is good. But some linking feels too general and repeats the same idea.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph focus on one main point. In the third paragraph, some sentences repeat and one sentence is not complete.
coherence and cohesion
Check grammar in linking sentences. A few errors make the flow weak and harder to read.
task response
You clearly introduce the topic and give your opinion that this is a negative trend.
task response
You give two reasons for why people do this: social media and saving memories.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear paragraph plan with introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use linking words like first, for example, and therefore to connect ideas.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Visual content
  • Landmarks
  • Likes and followers
  • Selfie
  • Trophy
  • Validation
  • Accomplishment
  • Technological advancements
  • Smartphone cameras
  • Photography-focused tourism
  • Fear of Missing Out (FOMO)
  • Immersing
  • Local economy
  • Cultural significance
  • Backdrops
  • Photographic evidence
  • Overcrowding
  • Wear and tear
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