IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The most important part of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The
science
Use synonyms
 field has taken part in a lot of societies nowadays, whether it comes to
improve
Wrong verb form
improving
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 people's health or just their everyday routine. I strongly believe that even though
science
Use synonyms
 has a wide range of different uses, it should be
use
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
 in its entire majority to improve people's
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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. From my perspective, since the big development that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
science
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 has suffered among the centuries, it has been
primarly
Correct your spelling
primarily
 to bring more
beneficious
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 conditions to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
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 in their everyday
life
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. When it comes to the health field,
science
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 has helped to reach out so many
sollutions
Correct your spelling
solutions
 to different
illness
Fix the agreement mistake
illnesses
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, by the discovery of new medicaments doctors have been able to cure more sickness, and all that was supported by the continued investigation from the scientists.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in other
type
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types
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 of aspects like the working environment, the implementation of
science
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 has helped the workers to achieve their tasks in
fewer
Correct word choice
less
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 time.
Consequently
Linking Words
, by improving the quality of the work and reducing the time of production,
science
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 has helped to increase the economic profit
while
Linking Words
 decreasing the hardest
pasts
Use the right word
parts
show examples
 of different jobs.
For example
Linking Words
, the implementation of
science
Use synonyms
 in some technical machines in the factories has made the working chain
more
Verb problem
run more
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 smoothly. All things considered, I am inclined to agree that
science
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 should be taken
by
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as
show examples
 the most important part to improve people's
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the human being should use
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
science
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 to always benefit from it and make everyone's
life
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more
Rephrase
apply
show examples
easier.

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task response
Task response: Your answer is clear and you give your opinion from the start. To get a higher score, explain the other side a little more and show why your view is stronger.
task response
Task response: Your main ideas are relevant, but some points are general. Add more clear and specific support for each idea.
task response
Task response: Your examples fit the topic, but they are quite broad. Use one more direct example with simple detail.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your essay has a clear paragraph plan with an opening, body, and ending. This helps the reader follow your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Some linking is good, like 'Moreover' and 'For instance', but some sentences are hard to follow. Make each sentence shorter and connect ideas more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Some points need fuller support before you move to the next idea. Try to explain one idea fully, then give an example.
task response
Task response: You answer the question and clearly say that you agree.
task response
Task response: You use relevant ideas about health and work.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The essay has both an introduction and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Paragraphing is clear and easy to see.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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