IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that travelling is a waste of time and money, while others argue that it is an important way to gain knowledge and experience different cultures. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

There are two different opposing views, whether of staying at a fixed spot, and considering travelling a
waste
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 of
time
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 and money, or travelling and exploring new traditions and cultures and gaining the enjoyment of the experience. I truly believe that travelling is way more beneficial than staying at a spot, considering
travelling
Correct word choice
that travelling
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 is cost-cutting and invaluable. The first argument argues that
people
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 who consider taveling is a
waste
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 of energy or
time
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, most of them often don't understand the value of travelling. They give silly excuses of not travelling,
such
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 as it's a
waste
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 of
time
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 or it's expensive, since they didn't know how far
this
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 experience would change their mind's.
Thus
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, most of them are at a suitable job, daily routine and good circumstances, so that's why they stay at their spot.
On the other hand
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, the second argument argues that
people
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 who value travelling, exploring, acquiring new experiences and have exposure to new traditions and cultures, are often have been carious about travelling and they love to break the glass ceiling, which is considered the "daily boring routine". The reason
people
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 have picked
this
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 point of view is to enjoy the journey of exploring, building personality and reflecting knowledge on their
people
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. On the whole, both views are being considered.
While
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 believing travel is a
waste
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 of
time
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 and energy, or believing travel is worth the
time
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 and energy.
People
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 follow their desires and goals;
therefore
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, they vary from one person to another.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. Say clearly why some people think travel is a waste, and why others think it is useful.
task response
Give your own opinion in a clear way and keep it the same from start to end.
task response
Add real and clear examples to support your ideas. This will make your points stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear topic sentences at the start of each body paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, however, for example, and in the end.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each sentence connects well to the next one. Some parts now feel unclear or jump too fast.
task response
You wrote about both views and gave your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
The main topic stays the same through the essay.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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