Many people around the world are choosing move to live in cities. What problems do people experience in big cities? Should governments encourage people to move to smaller towns and how should they do this?

The world has changed drastically in the
last
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few decades, and
people
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started
Verb problem
have started
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choosing to live in urban
cities
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instead
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of rural towns.
This
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has many disadvantages that
effects
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affect
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the
government
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.
Therefore
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, they have to tackle
this
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problem and take it seriously, so what are the problems of the high population in big
cities
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and
Punctuation problem
, and
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how should the
government
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react to them? On the
first
Correct determiner usage
one
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hand, there are many issues faced when a high density of
people
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live
Correct subject-verb agreement
lives
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in one urban city.
First,
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the area tends to get really crowded even when it isn't rush hour.
This
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can increase accedents
therefore
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applying more pressure on hospitals.
Second,
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because the city is
over crowded
Correct your spelling
overcrowded
, it would become difficult for a normal number of trash cans to withstand
large
Correct article usage
the large
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population's waste.
In addition
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, many underestimate the
damages
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damage
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that noise pollution causes to them.
Finally
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, crime rates are common in
cities
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.
For example
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, many
researches
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studies
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have
conducted
Verb problem
shown
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that the average crime rates in a USA urban city
tends
Correct subject-verb agreement
tend
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to be extremely high compared to other
more
Punctuation problem
, more
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manageable places.
On the other hand
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, there are many things that the
government
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can do to tackle these obstacles.
However
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, the best solution is to convince
people
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to move out of big
cities
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, and there are a
big
Correct word choice
large
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number of methods to do that.
Such
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as
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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providing individuals with better jobs in rural areas. The main reason why
people
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migrate to big
cities
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is to find better job opportunities.
In addition
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, providing amenities in rural areas and not making these amenities exclusive in limited places.
Also
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, governments should provide affordable transportation methods to
people
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like
Punctuation problem
, like
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trains and taxies between towns, and make it easy to visit friends and family who live in other towns. In conclusion, it is clear to see that there are multiple problems
to
Change preposition
with
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moving
in
Change preposition
to
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urban areas.
However
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, the
government
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has the ability to convince
people
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to move to rural
vilages
Correct your spelling
villages
and tackle
this
Linking Words
issue easily.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. You talk about city problems and government action, but your view on whether governments should encourage people is not fully clear all the time.
task response
Give more clear support for each main idea. Some points are listed fast, so they need a little more explanation.
task response
Use examples that are more clear and more exact. The crime example is useful, but it is not fully explained.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end, which is good. But some linking is not smooth, and a few ideas jump too fast.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph stay on one main idea. This will help the reader follow your points more easily.
coherence and cohesion
Check linking words and sentence order. For example, some lines like 'On the first hand' and 'Such as' are not used in the best way.
task response
You answer both questions in the task.
task response
You give several relevant problems of big city life, like crowding, waste, noise, and crime.
task response
You suggest practical government steps, like jobs, services, and transport in small towns.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
The order of ideas is mostly easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
You use linking words like 'First', 'Second', 'In addition', and 'Finally'.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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