Some people said that with the help of parenting and child development courses parents can improve the life of children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In
the
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apply
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contemporary society, there is considerable debate
regardingwhether
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regarding whether
the lives of
children
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can be ameliorated via parenting and
child
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development
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programs.
Although
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these
courses
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can be expensive, I believe that
people
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can gain comprehensive knowledge about
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children's rearings
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child rearing
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.
To begin
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with, attending parenting and
child
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development
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programs can place a financial burden on
parents
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due to
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their exorbitant costs. The majority of
people
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find hardships in fulfilling their needs,
such
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as paying mortgages and electricity bills, buying groceries, and other essential things
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due
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, due
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to inflation. By adding them,
people
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can suffer from depression, undue stress, and
pessimistic
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pessimism
.
For example
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, in Canada, residents are unable to pay off their debts and
houses'
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house
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mortgages
due to
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rescission;
therefore
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, enrolling in
such
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courses
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is infeasible for them.
However
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, I contend that
parents
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and
child
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development
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courses
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can provide
parents
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with thorough information regarding
nutrition
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the nutrition
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of their
children
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. Parenthood is quite a challenging phase nowadays because of nuclear families. Unlike in the past, where grandparents used to
upbrings
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raise
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their grandchildren; at the moment,
people
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have started to live
separated
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separately
from their elderly, which may make these
courses
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seem valuable.
This
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is because they have limited knowledge about their
children
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's upbringings.
To conclude
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, even though
clasess
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classes
on parenting and
child
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development
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are quite expensive, I think that they would bring tremendous benefits for both
parents
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and
children
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since the
courses
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provide them with useful information about the upbringing of their
children
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.

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task response
Answer the question more directly. Say clearly if you agree, disagree, or partly agree, and keep this same view in all body parts.
task response
Develop your main ideas more. Each body part should explain one main point with a clear reason and a simple example.
task response
Use examples that fit the topic better. Your Canada example is not very close to how courses help children.
coherence and cohesion
Make linking between ideas smoother. Some ideas jump too fast from cost to stress to child life.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one clear focus in each paragraph. The first body part talks about money problems, but it does not fully connect to your opinion about children.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple and clear topic sentences. This will help the reader follow your plan more easily.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
task response
Your conclusion matches your main idea that these courses can help parents and children.
task response
You try to give reasons and an example to support your ideas.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • nurturing environment
  • holistic development
  • child psychology
  • parental confidence
  • mental health
  • child-rearing practices
  • inclusivity
  • adaptability
  • one-size-fits-all approach
  • socioeconomic groups
  • unique needs
  • personality & circumstances
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