IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many countries, family members work together in their family business. Do you think family business have more advantages than disadvantages .

In
todays
Correct your spelling
today's
 world, People like to have their own businesses.
However
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,
They
Fix capitalization
they
show examples
 mostly prefer
this
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 because they can
buildup
Wrong verb form
build
show examples
 it
like
Verb problem
up like
show examples
 a
private
Replace the word
privately
 owned one. I believe that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 there are more benefits
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
show examples
 be achieved by
this
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 type of
Use synonyms
enterprises
Fix the agreement mistake
enterprise
show examples
. In
this
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 essay, I will explain
you
Change preposition
to you
show examples
 some advantages and
also
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 disadvantages regarding
this
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.
To begin
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 with, more businesses
controll
Correct your spelling
controlled
 by family members. There are several reasons for
this
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implement
Replace the word
implementation
. First reason is , ownership
is
Wrong verb form
does
show examples
 not depend on one person. As an example , in
this
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 kind of family run their
enterprises
Use synonyms
, ownership responsibilities are
get sharing
Wrong verb form
shared
show examples
 with mom and dad. The benefit of
this
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 is
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 If dad is not
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
available ,
then
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 Mom is responsible to look after the work related to their
business
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 . Second advantage is
,
Correct word choice
that
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 there is no
purticular
Correct your spelling
particular
 salary increment and labour rules . As an instance,
There is
Correct subject-verb agreement
there are
show examples
 no
any
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
confirmed wages or government conditions effect to the
enterprenureship
Correct your spelling
entrepreneurship
. As I said, family
business
Use synonyms
 is
a huge
Rephrase
hugely
show examples
 rewarding
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 they
also
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 come with some challenges. In fact, decision making is quite hard because some arguments can be effected to the family harmony. Not only that, as a second drawback is , disagreements.
Fmily
Correct your spelling
Family
 members may have different
opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
show examples
 towards some decisions. To
sumup
Correct your spelling
sum up
, family
enterprises
Use synonyms
 are more appropriate to the
business
Use synonyms
 world.
More over
Correct your spelling
Moreover
, for the
sustainability
Replace the word
sustainable
 economy of a developing country. Not only that, these
enterprises
Use synonyms
 are more
rewardable
Replace the word
rewarding
 and more beneficial
due to
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 limited facilities.
However
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, on the other side, a family
business
Use synonyms
amoung
Correct your spelling
among
 the family members should have a huge commitment
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 bring it to a successful level .

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task response
Answer the question more directly. Say clearly why family business has more good points than bad points.
task response
Give one or two clear examples that fit your main ideas. Your example about mother and father helps, but it needs more detail.
task response
Develop each main point more. Explain how each good point helps the business and the family.
coherence and cohesion
Make your ideas easier to follow. Some sentences are hard to understand because of grammar and word choice.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a simple and correct way, like first, also, however, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each paragraph. This will make your essay more clear and organized.
task response
You give a clear opinion that family business has more benefits than problems.
task response
You include both advantages and disadvantages, so you address all parts of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You try to use linking phrases such as to begin with, as an example, and to sum up.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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