IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some parents want their children to read only serious educational books at all times. They don’t want their children to read any entertainment books because they think it is were of time. Do you agree or disagree?

Some parents demand
for
Correct word choice
that
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 their children
to
Wrong verb form
apply
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read serious educational
books
Use synonyms
 consistently, because entertainment
books
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 are perceived as a waste of time. In my opinion, exploring "fun"
book's
Check wording
books
show examples
 during your childhood should not be criticised.
Books
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 contain valuable information
no
Punctuation problem
, no
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 matter the type, as they are a source of knowledge and a way of expanding one's vocabulary and interaction skills.
For example
Linking Words
, by allowing a child to read entertaining
books
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including
Punctuation problem
, including
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 fictional, romantic and adventorous doesn't always guarantee that it will teach a valuable lesson, but it informs them about the world that they live in. They read about
characters
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characters'
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 motivations, adventures, feelings
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 they immerse themselves
with
Change preposition
in
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 expanding
genre's
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genres
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. Educational
books
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 can be found in
school's
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schools
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, libraries
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 most children use them
everyday
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every day
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 for their schoolwork.
Linking Words
Therefore
Punctuation problem
Therefore,
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while
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 demonstrating that most children get enough educational information from their
assesment's
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assessments
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, it can be argued that
further
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 educational
books
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 are not a daily requirement. Studies have shown that doing individual reading and getting additional knowledge from literature or poetry
books
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 are advantageous, but it doesn't mean that exploring entertaining
books
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give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
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 bad results. In conclusion,
while
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 arguing that educational
books
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 are important as they are a source of additional information, no parent should pressure their child to only read one variety of
books
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. From my point of view, by exploring differrent genre's, different life skills are formed
while
Linking Words
 getting entertainment from the content.

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task response
Make your main view more clear in the first part. Say clearly that you do not agree with the idea.
task response
Add one more clear example to support your ideas. This will make your points stronger.
task response
Explain more how fun books help children in real life, not only in reading.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences at the start of each body part.
coherence and cohesion
Some ideas are linked, but a few sentences are long and hard to follow. Keep them shorter.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words carefully and simply, like first, also, for example, and in conclusion.
task response
You answer the question and give your own view.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas stay on the topic through the essay.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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