IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays the government should tax heavily car owners to reduce the problem of traffic and put that money on public transportation. What are the advantages and disadvantages of the statement?

In the modern era, traffic is
major
Correct article usage
a major
show examples
 problem could be seen in every city in the world. There is a statement that for improving public means of
transportation
Use synonyms
 government should tax private automobile
holder
Check wording
holders
show examples
. As per my perception, there are benefits
as well as
Linking Words
 drawbacks to doing so. On the one hand, the major advantage of the rising public transport and taxing personal vehicle operators is pollution. If people use public
transportation
Use synonyms
 rather than private means,
then
Linking Words
 there will be less pollution
as well as
Linking Words
 less traffic on the roads , which will not cause any delays and harm the environment.
For example
Linking Words
-
Punctuation problem
,
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 There is a survey done by MK college students at Gurgaon, India, it was observed that
personnels
Check wording
personnel
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 usually travel there with the help of buses and trains, which
the
Verb problem
affects the
show examples
 air quality of the city .
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the main drawback of taxing private motor
proprietor
Check wording
proprietors
show examples
 and putting money
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 the public
transportation
Use synonyms
 sector is a great drop in the economy. When the government puts heavy taxes on the purchases of new personal cars, most people will not buy a personal car , which will cause a drop in the country's economy and
also
Linking Words
 affect the country's gross domestic product.
For example
Linking Words
-
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
 In Pakistan,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
there are
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of taxes on buying goods
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
 the community their hesitate to buy costly assets
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
which leads the
providence
Replace the word
province
 to
bottom
Correct article usage
the bottom
show examples
. In conclusion, there are advantages
as well as
Linking Words
 disadvantages of taxing private car owners and putting that money
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 improving public
transportation
Use synonyms
 are pollution and economic drop. To cure
this
Linking Words
, the government should generate some income through other plans, not only taxing personal car owners to improve public means of
transportation
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Answer both sides in a more clear way. Say why the tax is good and why it is bad with full ideas.
task response
Your main ideas are on topic, but some parts are hard to understand. Use short and clear sentences.
task response
Your examples are not fully clear. Give one simple and real example with a clear result.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a good basic shape: start, two body parts, and end. Keep this plan.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more clearly. Use simple words like first, also, however, and as a result.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences do not connect well. Make sure each sentence follows the one before it.
task response
You answered the question and talked about both good and bad sides.
task response
You gave a clear opinion in the end.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Each body paragraph has one main idea.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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