IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Children who are brought up in families that do not have large amounts of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brought up by wealthy parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In today’s constantly changing world, financial status is a highly debated topic. Some people argue that children who grow up in a middle-class or poor family are more likely to solve problems more professionally,
while
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 others believe that it really depends on the level of wealth. I reckon that everything is relative;
however
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, children who faced many challenges are more resilient and have a strong mentality.In
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this
Add a comma
this,
show examples
 I will
dicuss
Correct your spelling
discuss
 my own views,in terms of career success and personal development. First and foremost, it is an undeniable fact that many successful people in the world came from poor backgrounds. Many well-known individuals faced difficulties and overcame many obstacles that shaped their identity and contributed to
further
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 development.
For instance
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, from the Forbes list, Oprah Winfrey is a striking example. She had many failures but never gave up and quit
her
Verb problem
pursuing her
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 dreams.
Secondly
Linking Words

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task response
Write a full answer to the question. Say clearly if you agree, disagree, or partly agree, and keep this view all through the essay.
task response
Add a clear second body part and a short ending. Right now, the essay stops too early, so the answer feels not done.
task response
Explain your main ideas more. Do not only say that poor children face hard times; show how this helps them in adult life.
task response
Use one or two clear examples and link them to the topic. The Oprah example is good, but you need to say how it proves your point.
coherence and cohesion
Make each part easy to follow. Start with an intro, then body 1, body 2, and an ending.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple link words well, like 'first', 'also', 'for example', and 'in the end'.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence joining. Some parts run too fast without full stops or spaces, so they are hard to read.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each part and support it before moving to the next idea.
task response
You answer the topic and give your own view early in the essay.
task response
You use a real example, which helps support your idea.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a basic intro and starts body points in a clear way with 'First and foremost' and 'Secondly'.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas are mostly easy to understand.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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