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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that some subjects taught inschool are a waste of time,while others disagree and believethat eyerything studied in school is useful for students.Discussboth these views and give your own opinion.

In recent years, there
is
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has been
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 a debate
whether
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about whether
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 the curriculum in schools is efficiently designed
, some
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. Some
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 individuals hold the view that certain
subjects
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 taught in school are a waste of time,
while
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 others insist that all academic
content
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 is beneficial to
students
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. From my perspective, we can neither completely dismiss the
value
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 of traditional
subjects
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 nor claim that all
content
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 is universally useful
,
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;
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 rather, the core issue lies in whether the curriculum design with the demands of the modern era. Proponents of the first view argue that some disciplines fail to update their syllabi and teaching materials in
timely
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a timely
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 manner, leading to a severe disconnect with the
repaid
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rapid
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 pace of technological progress.
As a result
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, the theoretical knowledge and skills
students
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 acquired are outdated and lack practical social
value
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, making these classes a genuine waste of time.
For instance
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, in fields
such
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 as electronic information engineering , components evolve at an astonishing rate, and teaching materials that have been eliminated by manufacturing enterprises retain little relevance.
Consequently
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,
students
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’ professional knowledge loses much of its practical utility, failing to meet industry requirements and rendering
such
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lagging
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a lagging
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 course an inefficient use of educational resources.
On the other hand
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, the fundamental goal of
education
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 is to cultivate
well-round
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well-rounded
 individuals who develop intellectually, physically, and morally. Beyond professional or technical training, foundational
subjects
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such
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 as history, physical
education
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 , and civic
education
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 values-
content
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 that cannot be measured simply by “practical utility”.
For example
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, history lessons help
students
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 build a strong sense of national and cultural confidence,
while
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 physical
education
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enhance
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enhances
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 their physical fitness. These qualities are essential for
students
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’ future careers and personal lives and cannot be replaced by technical training alone, proving that most school
subjects
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 retain irreplaceable
value
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. In conclusion, the school curriculum should combine comprehensiveness with practicality: foundational
subjects
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 shape
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students
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students'
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overall
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 qualities,
while
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 professional training aligns with industry needs.
While
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 truly outdated courses disconnected from the times
to
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apply
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represent a waste of time, we should not all regard all educational
content
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 as worthless
for
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this
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 reason. As a central pillar for nurturing talent, educational institutions should continuously refine their curricula, keep pace with social development
while
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 upholding their educational mission, and ensure every course delivers real
value
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.

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task response
Make your main opinion more direct in the first paragraph. Say clearly what you think in one simple sentence.
task response
Answer both sides in a more equal way. The first side has more detail than the second side.
task response
Use simpler and clearer examples. Your example about electronic information is good, but it is a little hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Check that every sentence links clearly to the main idea of the paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Use more clear linking words like first, however, for example, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are too long. Split them into two shorter sentences to make the flow easier.
task response
You discuss both views and give your own opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task response
Main ideas are supported with examples and reasons.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph has one main focus, so the essay is easy to follow.
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