Whether or not someone achieves their aims in life is mostly a question of luck. To what extent to you agree or disagree?

Luck
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has become a controversial factor
of debate
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in debates
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when it comes to the success of others.
While
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some people believe that
luck
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play
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plays
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a huge role in
one
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's success, others believe that being fortunate is not enough to achieve the
goals
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. From the personal point of view, the statement of
attached
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attaching
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every achieved
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goals
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goal
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with the
luck
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label is
unagreeable
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unacceptable
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; fortune is only a small factor that contributes to the final results.
Goals
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cannot be achieved if
one
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does not have
strong
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a strong
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will, consistency,
patience
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and patience
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. Those are the greater factors contributing to
achieve
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achieving
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the
goals
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rather than fortune itself.
For example
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, if a
person
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can get their aim
one
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time, it could be
luck
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. But if a
person
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continuously
achieve
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achieves
show examples
their aims,
then
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luck
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is absolutely out of the
questions
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question
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. The possibility
to
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of
show examples
continuously
succeed
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succeeding
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purely by
luck
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is nearly impossible. If a
person
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have
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has
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a good
attitudes
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attitude
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, precise approaches to
one
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problem, they are
likely
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more likely
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to achieve their
goals
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than a
person
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who
bet
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bets
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everything on their
luck
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.
To conclude
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,
luck
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is not always the
keys
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key
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to success, but rather a contributing factor to a set of grounded habits and
self-disciplines
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self-discipline
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.

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task response
Answer all parts of the task more fully. Say clearly how much you agree, and explain why in more than one main idea.
task response
Add one more body paragraph with a different reason. This will make your answer more complete.
task response
Use a more clear example. Your example now is very general and not very strong.
coherence and cohesion
Make topic sentences more clear. Start each body paragraph with one main point.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more smoothly. Use simple linking words like first, also, for example, and as a result.
coherence and cohesion
Develop your main point more. Explain each idea step by step so the reader can follow easily.
task response
You give a clear opinion: luck is only a small part of success.
coherence and cohesion
You have an introduction and a conclusion, which helps the essay feel complete.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas stay on the topic and do not go off track.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite
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