People from many countries have to spend more and more time away from their families. Why is this? How this affects them and their families?

In the contemporary era, the traditional family structure is changing as more
individuals
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spend long periods away from their families.
This
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trend is mainly driven by the demands of the
globalized labor
Correct word order
globalised labour
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market and the pursuit of higher education.
While
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such
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separation is often necessary for financial stability and career advancement, it can have significant emotional consequences for both
individuals
Use synonyms
and their families. One of the main causes of
this
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phenomenon is socio-economic pressure. In today’s global economy, better job opportunities and
specialized
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specialised
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education are usually located in major cities or abroad.
As a result
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, many people are forced to relocate to improve their careers or support their families financially.
For example
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, work arrangements
such
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as international assignments and fly-in-fly-out jobs have become common.
Additionally
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, the rising cost of living encourages
individuals
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to seek higher-paying jobs far from home.
However
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,
this
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situation can have serious consequences. For
individuals
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, living away from family often leads to loneliness, stress, and
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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of emotional support. They may
also
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struggle to balance work and personal life, which can affect their
overall
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well-being. Over time,
this
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distance can create misunderstandings and reduce family cohesion. In conclusion,
although
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spending time away from family is often necessary for career or educational advancement, it can negatively impact emotional well-being and family
relationship
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relationships
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.
Therefore
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, maintaining regular communication and finding a balance between work and family life is essential.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. You explain why people live away, but the effect on families needs one more clear idea.
task response
Add one more real and clear example for the family side, such as children or older parents.
task response
Develop your main ideas a bit more. Some points are good, but they end too fast.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end. Keep this shape.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. They are good now, but you can add one or two more to show cause and result clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each body paragraph has one main point and full support. The second body paragraph could be more detailed.
task response
You answer the topic and stay on it all through the essay.
task response
Your ideas are clear and easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is well organized with an introduction, body, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Paragraphing is clear, and your linking words help the flow.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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