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Writing Samples
Band 4

The charts show world pineapple exports by the top three pineapple-producing countries in 2009 and 2019, and a breakdown of the cost to the consumer of each pineapple in 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The illustrations compare Earth
pineapple
Use synonyms
 exports categorised by three popular
pineapple
Use synonyms
-producing countries in the years 2009 and 2019, and
also
Linking Words
 displays classification of
price
Check wording
prices
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 to the customer of each
pineapple
Use synonyms
 in 2019.
Overall
Linking Words
, countries A and C are growing more pineapples in 2019 than in 2009, wherein
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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country
Use synonyms
 A produced hight metric tonnes in 2019 and
country
Use synonyms
 C produced
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
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 metric tonnes in 2009.
Further
Linking Words
, distribution and retail
takes
Correct subject-verb agreement
take
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 up most of the cost associated
to
Change preposition
with the
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 consumer for each of the
fruit
Fix the agreement mistake
fruits
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, followed by profits and subsidies.
Country
Use synonyms
 A produced 1 million metric tonne in 2009 and peaked
to
Change preposition
at
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 producing just over 10 million metric tonne in 2019.
Country
Use synonyms
 C, too, has a similar trend
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 the production increased slightly in 2019.
Country
Use synonyms
 B,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, exported more pineapples in 2009, with just over 4 million metric tonnes, than in 2019. The cost to
consumer
Correct article usage
the consumer
show examples
 breakdown of each
pineapple
Use synonyms
 majorly accounts
distribution
Change preposition
for distribution
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 & retail,contributing 35% of the cost, followed by profits and taxes, which account to 18% and 16%, respectively.
While
Linking Words
 expenses made to producers, export costs,
import
Correct word choice
and import
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 licenses
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 contribute the least. International transport takes up 12% of the total price associated to consumer for each
pineapple
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words pineapple, country with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "just over" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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