IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Artist should habe a freedom to express they thoughts or ideas . Do you agrre or disagree with this statment ?

Art
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 has an important role in society.
Art
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 has been around us for many years. Some people think that
artists
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 should have complete freedom to create
art
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. I agree with the statement that artistic individuals should have full freedom to express their creativity
while
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 creating a piece of
art
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, especially since
art
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 often addresses important political or social issues.
For example
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, when politicians make wrong choices for a country,
artists
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 often use their skills to show their disapproval. When people voted to leave the European Union, a very influential artist called Banksy created artwork to comment on
this
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 issue so that people would
realize
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realise
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 they made a mistake and that living outside of Europe could be a huge mistake.
On the other hand
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, powerful individuals always try to influence
artists
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 by giving them expensive gifts or money, which shouldn't be the case. The role of
art
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 is much more important than any money could be. In conclusion, influenced
art
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 will never be genuine, and
for
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this
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 reason,
artists
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 should be able to express themselves freely without others trying to influence them.

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task response
For task response, your answer is clear and you agree from the start. This is good. But your ideas need a bit more full development in each body part.
task response
For task response, the Banksy example is relevant and specific. This helps your score. Try to add one more clear example or explain the result more.
task response
For task response, your second main idea about rich or powerful people is interesting, but it is not explained enough. Show more clearly how this limits art freedom.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear start, middle, and end. This makes it easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, each paragraph has one main idea, which is good. But the link between the second and third paragraph could be smoother.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, you use simple linking words like 'for example,' 'on the other hand,' and 'in conclusion' well. Try to add a few more clear links inside paragraphs.
task response
You answer the question directly and keep the same opinion through the essay.
task response
You use a real example about Banksy, and this makes your point stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and a clear conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Your paragraphs are in a logical order, so the reader can follow your ideas easily.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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