IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

With the increased global demand for oil and gas, undiscovered areas of the world should be opened up to access more resources. To what extent do you agree? Angsa

Humans have become increasingly dependent on fuel and natural
gas
Use synonyms
. Some
aruge
Correct your spelling
argue
 that unreached spaces in the world
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 should be exposed to import more natural materials. I believe that uncovering new lands to get these materials is extremely essential for
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rapid growth.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it has become increasingly common to depend on natural
gas
Use synonyms
 and
oil
Use synonyms
, especially in our
modren
Correct your spelling
modern
 world,
beucase
Correct your spelling
because
 without these natural elements, we can't use energy effectively.
For example
Linking Words
, fuel can be used in vehicles, motors, boats and
trasportation
Correct your spelling
transportation
, which
all are
Correct word order
are all
show examples
 essential nowadays
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
furthermore
Linking Words
,
oil
Use synonyms
 can be used in factories and even in a person's life.
Also
Linking Words
, natural
gas
Use synonyms
 is
essential as much
Correct word order
as essential
show examples
 as
oil
Use synonyms
do
Verb problem
is
show examples
, because without
gas
Use synonyms
, the economy will
be fluctuating
Wrong verb form
fluctuate
show examples
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, whether we should explore new lands in order to get these natural elements, or just stay
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the same position. The global demand for
oil
Use synonyms
 and
gas
Use synonyms
 is going to the next level,
therefore
Linking Words
;
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
 extracting resources from these lands is going to be beneficial
, to
Punctuation problem
. To
show examples
 illustrate, the importation of new materials
such
Linking Words
 as
gas
Use synonyms
 and fuel from new spaces
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 is gonna support the country's economy, give an easier life and even higher salaries for individuals.
Moreover
Linking Words
, more external investments opportunites are expected to support the economy too.
To sum up
Linking Words
, natural resources
such
Linking Words
 as
gas
Use synonyms
 and
oil
Use synonyms
 have become extremely demanding
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
therefore
Linking Words
, I support the idea of external importation.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Give a more direct answer to the question. Say clearly how much you agree, not only that it is important.
task response
Explain the risks too, such as harm to nature, then say why you still agree or disagree. This will make your answer more complete.
task response
Use more clear and real examples. Your example about cars and factories is relevant, but it is too general.
coherence and cohesion
Put one main idea in each paragraph and explain it step by step.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a natural way. Some parts have too many commas or words like 'therefore' in the wrong place.
coherence and cohesion
Make the second body paragraph more clear. The sentence that starts with 'Secondly' is not a full clear point.
task response
You answer the topic and give your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Some ideas connect well, such as fuel for transport and gas for the economy.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • global demand
  • oil and gas
  • undiscovered areas
  • exploration
  • environmental impact
  • sustainable energy
  • renewable resources
  • economic growth
  • habitat destruction
  • pollution
  • climate change
  • technological advancements
  • sustainable extraction
  • conservation efforts
  • energy security
  • fossil fuels
  • resource management
  • geopolitical implications
  • energy transition
  • resource depletion
What to do next:
Look at other essays: