IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think is it positive or negative development?

Nowadays, the manufacturing tend to promote their goods
are
Change preposition
as
show examples
 new in numerous ways. It is believed that there is a main reason for
this
Linking Words
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
, and
this
Linking Words
brings
Verb problem
is
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 a positive sign for the
modernization currently
Replace the word
current modernisation
. The
mainly
Correct word choice
main
show examples
 reason to explain
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon is that it shows the businesses have the
competent
Replace the word
competence
 to
pursure
Correct your spelling
pursue
 the contemporary.
This
Linking Words
 is because modern usage usually
get
Correct subject-verb agreement
gets
show examples
 rid of
old-fashion
Replace the word
old-fashioned
 items, and
eliminate
Correct subject-verb agreement
eliminates
show examples
 the stubborn plants, which hardly
to alige
Wrong verb form
align
show examples
 with the new.
For example
Linking Words
, many local brands in Vietnam usually use
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
influencers or KOLs to advertise the new product as a normal item in their life
instead
Linking Words
 of making posters or videos.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the consumers notice the slight change of their own
idolists
Replace the word
idols
, and start finding the products, which can
helps
Wrong verb form
help
show examples
 the
buninesses
Correct your spelling
businesses
 save
amount
Correct article usage
an amount
show examples
 of money to make promotions.
In addition
Linking Words
, I
believed
Wrong verb form
believe
show examples
 that
this
Linking Words
 is a positive changes of the modern marketing. Because it provides that the
provisors
Correct your spelling
providers
 can adapt
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the changes of customer perception, and it shows the
flexible
Replace the word
flexibility
 of the buninesses within the combination of
globalization
Change the spelling
globalisation
show examples
 and
modernization
Change the spelling
modernisation
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, In a nutshell, the main reason for the changes
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 advertising is
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the ability to adapt
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the new, and I strongly believe
this
Linking Words
 will bring lots of benefits in the future.

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task response
Answer both parts more clearly: why businesses do this, and why you think it is good or bad.
task response
State your main idea in a simple way in the first paragraph and keep the same view all through the essay.
task response
Give fuller reasons. Some ideas are too short, so the reader cannot fully see your meaning.
task response
Use one clear example and explain how it supports your point.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph have one main point only.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, because, so, and as a result.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to follow. Use shorter sentences and clearer word order.
coherence and cohesion
Finish the second body paragraph fully. It stops too early.
coherence and cohesion
You wrote an introduction and a conclusion, so the essay has a full shape.
task response
Your opinion is mostly clear: you think this is a positive development.
task response
You tried to give an example about brands in Vietnam, which is good for Task Response.
coherence and cohesion
There is a basic paragraph structure, with separate main parts.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • emphasise
  • advertising
  • products
  • innovation
  • competitive strategy
  • consumer dissatisfaction
  • value
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