IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

As a result of and illegal hunting, many animal species are becoming endangered and some are even facing extinction. Do you think it is important to protect animals? What can be done to deal with this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In the contemporary era, illegal hunting is becoming ubiquitous. It causes a lot of harmful implications
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as
extinction
Correct article usage
the extinction
show examples
 of some species. From my perspective, I wholeheartedly believe that we have to preserve all types of animals for future generations by setting more penalties for illegals and encouraging new measures to protect them. First of all, any type of animal
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 a substantial impact on our planet. Starting from small insects and ending with dominant predators, they create an imperative food chain in
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
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 which is essential for all animals, including homo sapiens.
For example
Linking Words
, in 1986, in Zambia, the quantity of wild rabbits in the region fell dramatically, because people had been actively hunting for them.
Linking Words
This
Fix the agreement mistake
These
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 events led to an increasing of hunger levels among wolves. Eventually, they began to attack local villages in order to find some food. To solve
this
Linking Words
 concern, authorities must revise their constitution and must establish nature reserves. Because of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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today's methods
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 are ineffective and inadequate, the number of endangered species that are in the Red Book is getting bigger and bigger
everyday
Rephrase
every day
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.
EU
Correct article usage
The EU
show examples
 created a set of laws that prohibit hunting numerous species,
Linking Words
also
Correct word choice
and
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 they constructed a significant number of animal reserves that can save them from dangers, resulting in the level of illegal
huntings
Check wording
hunting
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 being halved. Other countries have admired them and started to foster their prohibitions too. Ultimately,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 illegal huntings endanger the stability of the wildlife and gradually
reduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
show examples
 the number of rare animals. To deal with them, the government should establish
favorable
Correct determiner usage
a favourable
show examples
 environment and rules to protect them.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. Say more about why animals must be protected, not only one main reason.
task response
Make your ideas clearer with simpler and more exact words. Some parts are hard to understand.
task response
Use examples that feel more real or explain them more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more smoothly between and inside paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order and grammar so your main point is easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating the same idea and use one clear topic for each paragraph.
task response
You answer both questions in the task.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear opening and ending.
coherence and cohesion
You use paragraphs to separate your ideas.
task response
You give one example to support your point.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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